Thursday, October 26, 2006

Yiddish Chayn

I have very keen memories of my grandmother’s house. I remember the smell, I remember the ‘brown theme’, I remember the candies, but most of all I remember the blush.

An einikle kallah would come in and she’d come running. Blush Bubby.

Blush Bobby would brush the makeup up and down the kallah’s cheek bones in a not very fashionable line with a not very attractive color. But she’d constantly repeat, A Kallah must be shayn, A kallah must be shayn!

Our aunts and uncles would krechts. Makeup is not tsnuis. But babby would insist. A kallah must be shayn!

Years later, and these kallahs are now mothers of families. I meet them at simchas, at parties or just anywhere and the blush is still there, deep imprinted on both cheeks. It’s bubbie’s memory.

But things changed. Below the cheeks another few chins have been added, around the forehead some wrinkles have emerged and at the place of the waist sits a 15 pound metzayveh, memory of the times that were.

I watch my friend get herself a new dress. She dons a size 18woman, walks back and forth in front of the Tauber’s mirror all the time wiggling her behind in both directions. Then she walks out feeling just fine with the way she looks. Wiggle, wiggle.

Only a kallah darf zeyn shayn?

I know that we women should be the symbol of modesty. We should not flaunt our figures or mess with our faces (admit it, you have acne. Everyone must know!). But on the flip side of the coin, how do we keep our men from looking if there’s nowhere to look away to?

I don’t suggest we should all stand in line for a lip-plumping procedure. I don’t suggest we go on the carrot diet. I suggest we acknowledge our duty and let our men know that at home too, there is a hot girl.

Drop the Kaff’s, go for a waxing.

Yes, mostly the important message that our gender holds should be communicated in the stark night, while you are following instructions A to F from the Kallah’s Heart Attack Manual. But some of it should be conveyed by presenting yourself neatly, femininely and modestly.

Why do we think the abdominal extra is another freebie we take home from the hospital after the birth of our first, to be filled with lots of chocolate while the kids are at school? Why do we think a healthy mother is one with folding hips? Why do we own just one decent dress, and live our lives in a big, baggy, La Smock robe?

Women rush out of the mikvah, with cold raw hands, and half-tsiflogen sheitlech. It doesn’t occur to anybody to stay for another hour and prepare an isha nooah.

Are we really modest or just living on easy street?

75 comments:

JewishBiFemme said...

IM sorry! You sound like a woman hating male to female transgendered freak!

I mean I also belittle woman fin mien shtut.. But hey you are really mean I feel for them!!!

Cause we are open minded & take care of ourselves does not make it right to be so harsh!! Im speaking to myself cause I always make fun of them...

I dont know why you are so freakin proud that you wear a shpitzal?? I dont even want to think about your shaved head!!! How sickening for you to come online and mock it when you yourself wears it..

Be proud woman!!!

I lost all respect for those wearing it.. Now I know for sure l'vitsh is nothing but bullsh--...

Drop the yoelish and yoishhh im satmar!! you sound like a gay yoelish...yuckkkk you are an embarrassment to my shtetel...


If it was true have some respect to your heiliga yoelish and stop blogging about flirting with other men when you know that he comes in here...

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Jewish Bi Femme:
What’s with the people online that blame all posts on gender disorientation?
Calm down!
I don’t intend to mock women, and I apologize if I come across doing so. I intend to point out that neglecting your looks is not a mitzvah – unlike the poplurar theory.
What’s the big deal? Is that all women are about?

I apologize if I hurt anyone in person but I stand by my belief. We should be a little more self conscious. I am, in a tsnuis way.

JewishBiFemme said...

Ma'am,

You don't hurt me lol at all not! OK ive calmed down I wrote that comment coming home from a party...

I know women have to take care of ourselves!!! It can be exhausting especially those of us with wigs sometimes I wish I would wear a shpitzal or shave my head.. The dagas of>> Is my hair covered enough..Is my sheital blonde enough or not, or is it fresh looking...the makeup, the tanning, the waxing,nail salon, the dressing up on a daily basis lol women have it hard..and you know its all about looks it sure gets me attention who are we kidding?

I am still shocked about shpitzals and computers,flirting,I-pods (like i blogged about)..

I guess we are all human no matter what we wear...Honestly I think I would hate being a woman if I had to wear a shpitzal in my lifetime... Over my dead body!!!

How in the world do men love it? I don't find it sexy (on a bald head yuck)...

regarding gender>>> I think the accusations started when I started blogging..They accused me of being a orny Satmar yeshiva MONROE buchir...

Y.Y. said...

im so sorry shpitzele that your wife looks like vomit and you need to stare at hot shiksas on the street force your wife to look hot or tell her to exit the door

Anonymous said...

JewishBiFemme
Before insulting shpizel like that,look in the mirror. Do you notice that plenty women with shpizelech look way prettier and sexier than you do?
Most men have a good imagination and don't let the shpizel blind them. Your blond wig can never conceal what others can see.

JewishBiFemme said...
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Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Jewishbifemme,
The reason I named the blog ‘Shpitzle’ when I had the option to escape the torturing headgear and have fantasy hair (long, soft, brunette… ahhh) is because I wanted to kick the stereotype around the block a bit. Yes, we can shave our heads but we don’t shave our brains.

A well poised, dignified woman can be very attractive even if she shaves. That's what my post was about. Being an attractive shpitzle.

Not that I want to bust your bubble, but I think you should know that you are not an open minded person. You might 'know' more than us, or 'dress' better than us, but honey you are NOT open minded.
Don't take it to heart, I'm sure you have other good traits.

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

YY: Get the hell out of my blog. Type 'sex' in your search engine and stay busy!

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Anon: I hope it doesnt take just imagination from the man's side to see beauty in a shpitzle woman. In reality she can be beautiful too, maybe not her 1/4 inch hair, but her body, her face, her actions...

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Anonymous said...

I shave and wear a covered wig and believe me I have turned many heads, so to you jewishbifemme, I say, go get a life, I have also heard how not pretty you are,

JewishBiFemme said...
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Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...
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Y.Y. said...

i will comment here whenever the hell i feel like you fucking shpitz

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

What's with this Freak School online? You get accused of being a guy, a gay yoelish, hoezen, transgendered, a bachur...
Beyond me.

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JewishBiFemme said...
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Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...
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Y.Y. said...

oh no im outa here
fucking creeps

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Hoezentragerin said...

"But on the flip side of the coin, how do we keep our men from looking if there’s nowhere to look away to?"

Shpizel,
If your man will look, he will look.
Being the hottest thing on the Avenue will still not prevent a guy from looking.
Of course we women should look good.
For ourselves, more than for anyone else.

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Hoezentragerin: Missed you. I read your comments on other sites and was impressed with your well put opinions.

Either way, I don't think those that LOOK have necessarily the 'shluch' at home, but being a 'shluch' sure makes him more prone to look.


"For ourselves, more than for anyone else. "

True story about a rabbi:
His wife was busy 'pitzing herself' when he said "what are you standing all day at the mirror for? You're pretty to me the way you are..."
To which the Rebbetzin answered "I have to be pretty in my own eyes too."
Founded on those very words the rebbe gave a get to his wife.


This story has been eating inside me since I heard it. For many reasons I think a woman must feel good with the way she looks. But does the Torah disagree?

Anonymous said...

"True story about a rabbi:"

Where, when and whom?

It is "true", right?

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

I’m not very familiar with our Rebbish History and never had the chish to relate the story to the name of the Rebbe but I can find out. I first heard it with a name.

Anybody knows? Help me out here.

Anonymous said...

Well Shpitz, if something sounds like a load of bull it most certainly is, particularly when dealing with chasideshe boobe maases.

Anonymous said...

Shpitzle… you writhe vary well; I hope to come back every day and read what you have to comment on the Jewish life. I like to know what is going on in other sects, and you are the best blogger I have ever seen writing about the jews!

Hoezentragerin said...

I second Anonymous assertion.
For arguments sake, even if the story is true, what makes this Rebbe a Zadik?
Sometimes, (in today's world more often than not),"hailige rebbe" is an oxymoron.

Anonymous said...

Is sex by the jewish people the same as none jews? And how do the jews have sex?

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Hoezentragerin and Anon: Let's all live in the blissful belief that a rebbe is the synonym of tsadik. It makes life a lot more complicated if we learn too much into the rebbes. Let's not look at their side so much and just teach our children that they're tsaddikim.

Anon: You crack me up. I have this incredible urge to explain to you that we don't have sex, we just find a baby in the cradle when we come home from mikvah.

Hoezentragerin said...

"Let's not look at their side so much and just teach our children that they're tsaddikim."

Hu?
Let's close our eyes and bury our heads in the sand.
Let's teach our children that the sky is green an grass is blue.
Not in my home.
My children are taught that rebbes are rebbes, and zadikim are zadikim.

Anonymous said...

Shpitzle… I understand that you don’t bye baby's in the drug store…. But how dos the foreplay... work?

gittyb said...
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Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Anon: You seem to be chassidic yourself so next time when you do it turn on the light and you'll see.

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...
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Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Hoezentg: Keep on posting, my admiration for you is growing.
I know who the rebbeS (in plural, being Satmar) but I'm not sure who you tell your children are the tsadikim.

You live a chassidic lifestyle and you NEVER bury your head in the sand?

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Gittyb: I was raised with hundreds of 'maselech' fin tsadikim. I really can't sort through it and decide what was true or not. History after all is about facts, and I can't alter them even if I want to.
Maybe its not true, but maybe it is. Hoezentragerin is right, it might be true because he might not be a tsaddik after all.

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Anonymous said...

LOL.....can't escape the drama.

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Anonymous said...

hey yo! yo! Chill! 'yall
Shpitzel, id love to meet a open minded non jugemental shpizel girl. someone who i can have a decent congversation with. not just bout clothing and dinner. i like your blog.
i to used to shagve. i missed combing my hair. the first time i did after shaving , it felt great. The main thing i dislike chasidim is the complete lack of tolerance, especially in monroe, they stare at me with big owl eyes. oh well, must be interesting so seeb not one of your kind every one in a while. so keep posting, im looking forward to that.
Shaindy

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Shaindy - you arer right. Our people are too judgemental most of the time. But its not because they are not good at heart but rather because they don't understand that 'right' can have more than one version.

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JewishBiFemme said...
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nuch a chosid said...

What a shame to what happened here,
This blog started off as being something good, and now all this kiddish idiotic drama.



Here's my advice to Shpitzele and the others

Please 'delete' or at least 'Ignore' the flame throwers, don't answer to insutls, stick to the topic! its much more fun

The story of the tzadik is a true story, but u got the punchline wrong.

She answered "I dont want to look good only for you, I wish to be attrective and look good for OTHERS (men or people) too,

That was the reason he divorced her!!

Feeling good for herself. wouldnt be anything wrong!

Shpitzel u write well, but don't have the expiriance how to deal with a TROLL that's what such people are called

check out
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll

Ignore them!
and keep up your writing

nuch a chosid said...

The link got lost. so here it is again

Troll (Internet)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Internet troll)
Jump to: navigation, search

In Internet terminology, a troll is a person who enters an established community such as an online discussion forum and intentionally tries to cause disruption, most often in the form of posting inflammatory, off-topic, or otherwise inappropriate messages

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

nuch a choosid: very helpful post and on topic.
thanks.
You're right, as I do have NO experience in blogging. AFter putting up this thread I was shocked when the first comment had no insight and lots of anger. I was afraid I'd get more of those.

I will take both your advise on my next entry and delete whatever is off topic.
Thanks for the link.
Good Shabbos.

Anonymous said...

Great blogging piece, it gives much needed insight into your secluded lifestyle. I always see you gals with the hats and skirts walking down the streets I always wonder. Some of you look so oblivious to the world. For some reason I thought that religious Jews don't fight. This is vicious. Poor gay people. We should all realize, religious and atheists alike, that they are human beings like all of us.

I shouldn’t mix in, maybe the nastiness shown to this woman is not targeted specifically because of her gayness but because she sounds so defenseless or whatever, but in the name of God, have some compassion. I’m just an outsider but accept my words of truth please. Thank you.

Hoezentragerin said...
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nuch a chosid said...

This post touched on a goot topic, that wasn't proparlu discussed because all the trolling that was going on, we need to give this another choice, maybe repost it, as a new post, or clean out the trolling and start commenting on topic.

nuch a chosid said...

You are so right, every word is gold, mabe if the women really took carte of temselves. there would be less perverts running after fremder here on the web,

nuch a chosid said...

Yiddisah chayn, i would rather spell it CHEIN

Tipesh said...

The story you referred to was supposedly with the Ropshitzer. I saw in Yud Gimmel Oros from Reb Yankele that Tzaddikim said about the Ropshitzer: When a person owns an eagle he hangs a heavy weight round its neck so that it should not be able to fly too high and get lost. The danger of the Ropshitzer flying too high was great so he was given trouble-making wives to keep him down.

Additional comment. In the book written by Mrs. Pesha Friedman (sister of R' Boruch of Munkatch) she describes the way her sister was checked out by the Aleksander Rebbe's wife before her shiduch with her son. It is clear that Rebbishe Kinder are expected to have trophy wives and Rebbes are not against themselves having fancy wives. Recently in Williamsburg we had Rebetzin Alte Feige.

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Tipesh - This is an old post but your comment is very interesting.

Rebbetzin Alta Feige cracked me up. So true!