Saturday, December 30, 2006

Fear Not, My Child

I’m not gonna be kiddin’ myself. The American Dream whistles my name. It tempts me. Y’know, the big private house on the manicured lawn in a sunny-all-year-round state, the college degree, the double income, double garage. The great escapes ‘round the world, the well-tended women, the rowdy li’l mistah, the half-undressed teenage smartass….

Not the dog. Take that dog away from here.

And the cats too. Or any other haunting specie for that matter.

Come to think of it, it's probably because the Satmericana Drim is lacking in that respect. The over-populated apartment: Check. the B&H job: Check. The Ben Torah: Check. The overpriced, fourth-hand minivan... The road trip to the Arlington in the summer... The woman hidden somewhere under all the tsnuis, the little boysss, the little girlsss, the bochurim that do not teenage….

Check, check, check.

Where’s the cow? You know, a nice soft mooing cow. Or any other Kosher animal that can take the place of a pet.

Hey, maybe we could even get a chicken for every kid in the house.

Sure.

Why do we really fear animals so much? It’s not animals exclusively, it’s more than that. We’re afraid of looking at people with disabilities, my kids are afraid of goyim, hell, we’re afraid of anything unfamiliar.

I sat in the kitchen last night, drinking something warm at 4 in the morning, wondering why we, The Jews, the people I was taught are above all forms of nature, are awfully afraid of cockroaches.

A couple of hours earlier I was having this wonderful dream when my subconscious mind detected some tugging. I turn the other way, but the tugs continue. I'm tired, leave me alonnne. I finally stirred with a voiceless, lifeless “Voos iz tsadikle?” and continued to dream on my distorted story.

He held his pillow and started to cry, hushed and desperate pleas. “Seiz doo a doggy in mine room”.

Oh no, not again. “Crawl into tatti’s bet, his is way bigger than mine”.

I think I was too tired to turn that thought into words, because I heard little feet shuffling at the foot of my bed. My cover began moving about, and in no time I was left with just a wee little piece of blanket in my fingers.

It was cold. Rubbing my eyes, I tucked him in and stumbled out.

Whereever he took the dog idea, I'm not worried. \ What does bother me is the array of objects that can evoke fear.

When everything unfamiliar is scary, familiar must at least vary. Otherwise we risk scaring our children from growing up. It's such a big world out there and there isn't always a mother's bed to climb into.

Eech hub nisht keyn moira noor fin daym heiliga boyrah.

Yeah, sure.

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

SHPITZZZ!!!!! HEY WELCOME BACK!! I'VE MISSED YOU... It's kinda lonely w/o you already... :( A real pleasure to have you back!

I read your post and lol, I feel like u never left.. Great job as usual! Keep it UP!

kjrebbetzin said...

Hi Shpitz,
Glad you're back. Very funny post as always.
"Bald reef ich a duggy tzee dir"
" dee vest darfen gyn in de tinkele room mit duggies"
I've heard these threats or similar ones made to me when I was little and was scared to death( I am still to this day. shhhdon't tell my kids).
I still hear adults "strashe" their kids with this.
You mention being scared of disabled people. I was recently in the city,and overheard a mother telling her little children not to go near a girl with Downs Syndrom because they could catch it. Now that's scary.

hasid_letz said...

People instill in their children all kinds of wrong ideas-- sometimes because of the moment's expediencies, other times because of their own wrong perceptions. That's been going on since man stepped foot here. What's new about that?

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Guys, welcome back to you too! I missed ya’all! I hope to stick around for longer this time!

Rebbetzin Tlita– Goes to prove, there are still some people living in the 1900s. Thank god, this aspect is improving.

Letz oh Letz – The point is not that anything’s new, the point is that it’s different. While it’s perfectly normal that a child have fears, be it a heritance from an adult or an object of a child’s imagination, the fears that a Chassidic child grows up with are A. far more B. harmless aspects of life that the child will ultimately have to be around. I suppose this is a result of lack of exposure.

Baal Devarim said...

"He's not the inventor of boogieman fears. What does bother me is the array of objects that can evoke fear."

Maybe minimizing the number of objects that evoke fear is a good idea, after all.

"Eech hub nisht keyn moira noor fin daym heiliga boyrah."

Like this one, for example. The consummate bogeyman.

Size4mommyBP said...

you write "fill mit taam"

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Ey, Ey, BD! We shall now begin the first session of therapy to rid you of the fear of the greatest boogie (man?).

Baal Dear, you should realize that denial is not the answer. You have to reach out to what you have painted as an object of fear and realize that it is really a source of great love. The farther you will distance yourself from it the worst your phobia will grow, as your imagination will twist the original truth.
Come close to God, feel His love for you. You will have a boogieman to fear no more.


Seriously, how the hell do you raise your children if you can’t look passed the truth?

Size-4-tear-my-heart-out – Shekoyach!

nuch a chosid said...

W E L C O M E B A C K
S H P I T Z
Q U E E N O F B L O G G E R S

It says some where in the tiny letters without the pintelech, that one should not scare a kid with a dovor toma.

I did sing with the little one just today "mir yidelech eeneinem, moir huben nisht moira for keinem...

great post, glad you are back, missed u very much

Hoezentragerin said...

Glad you're back, Shpiz,
Try reb Shaiele Kristirer :)

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Nuch – Phew, thank ya sir. (bow) Really, you gotta stop inflating my ego because I’m getting a little drunk on all the air.
In this blog ‘it says somewhere something’ is not good enough. Show you’re a Talmud chachim!

Hoezen – So am I. LOL!!!

Anyone ‘n everyone – I know I kinda escaped from one minute to the next (and took my blog with me) but I’m back and I’ll try not to loss my manners if I run again.

Happy New Year!

Chaya said...

Hey, I missed you!
Welcome back!!
Don't do that again...you can't just take away the best reading material on the internet with no advance warning!

Anonymous said...

>The great escapes round the world, the well-tended women, the rowdy lil mistah, the half-undressed teenage smartass.

Yoy, Shpitz, di verts tzi nishpa fin di tumeneh internet.

Vus zol ich dir zuhen, the only way my daughter stays in her crib is if my wife tells her that if she climbs out, the cats will come into our house.

Ya ich vais, I hate that she does that to her. But if she doesn't, my daughter stays up until hours after her bedtime.

Husti efsher ah bessere eitzeh?

PS, geb BD iberrin kup. Er iz yetz ah farloirenner neshumah. Hak shtikker mit eim biz er vert tzurik a gleiber.

"Nuch ah heimishe".

Ex-Blogger said...

Not sure what you are trying to say, but one thing I heard loud n clear, and am indeed happy about it,
SHPITZ IS BACK

nuch a chosid said...

ok, you want a makor this is waht i found
raishis Chochoma from the Zohar hakodesh

ספר ראשית חכמה - שער הקדושה - פרק ששה עשר
ולא יפחיד לקטן ויאמר חתול קחהו, גמל קחהו, כלב קחהו, נשכהו, וכיוצא שהוא נקרא כלב וחתול וכל שמות הרעים להרע, עד כאן לשונו:

Anonymous said...

Shpitz,
B"H bistdi tzirik gekimmin!
I was getting too much work done with you gone...
Great post as always...
I always tell my tzadikim that if they don't behave - Ich leig dir arain in Internet arain! Now they're terrified of it...

nuch a chosid said...

last anon-
KLAP DIR OIFEN MOIL 3 MOOL, and SHVENK OIS DEIN MOIL MIT ZEIF.

INTERNET?? FOI FOI FOI

Semgirl said...

It has always amazed me how scared of animals these heimish children are. Many times I have been in Monsey and there 7 or 8 lil boys with long payos cheppering a lil puppy and acting like its a vicious tiger. I tell them hes more ascared of you then you are of him..

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Chaya – Dear, you’re bein’ too kind. Thanks. I guess I should issue a formal apology for my behavior, hu?

Anon – Wait till your girlie is 30 and she finally meets up with the much-talked-about cat, the whiskered guy wiggling out of a garbage can. She’ll be dancing in middle of the streets with not very tsnuisdiga shrieks. What are you gonna do then? Warn her with lions?

And BD has already returned 'n seen the light. He is now attending a yeshiva for Baal Teshuvas and is learning day and night. He holds a shur every evening on nidda.

Alright, before he takes me to his rosh yeshiva to din torah for motzeh shem rah, I will set the record straight that I have no problem with his faith, or lack of it. I simply don’t understand why it matters so much to him. In this world, one’s beliefs and lifestyle cannot reflect each other anyhow.



Exele – I’d rather you appreciation what I’m saying than be happy that I’m back but well, I’ll take what you give! Glad you’re back too!


Harav Hagoin Hakodesh Vahatoor Nuch Shlita – You win. You wrote loshan kodesh, I don’t understand, so you’re point is sold! (and while we're at it, let me know which organazatsia you use to hand-deliver your comments to my blog. You don't have internet yourself, of course)

Anon – Lol! I've been thrown into the internet a time or two and it was hell! And you can't get outta there either, y'know.

Sem Girl - Yeah, well, boys are boys. From where I come from we run from puppies. We don't have enough courage to chase them.

kasamba said...

Shpitz Shaifela, you're my kind of Mama!

I could never have a pet. In my house, only people poop.

wearywife said...

There's a saying that calls dogs man's best friends! It's not dogs who speak loshon hora, it's not dogs who can't fagin you whatever you have, its not dogs who try to cheat you in business, its not dogs who look down on you because they dont think you're as frum as they are. A dog will accept you unconditionally...all he asks in return is that you feed him and take care of him.
For the above reasons and more, I find the dogs that walk on two legs to be much scarier and more dangerous. Perhaps we should say to our children if you don't stay in your bed the big bad bal loshen hora will get you! He'll tell the whole neighborhood all about you!! But then again you dont want to scare the poor child too much...

wearywife said...

Welcome back Shpitz, you're a much needed breath of fresh air in blog land!! I like your style.

yingerman said...

I'll admit to being scared of lots of thing the dark, really big dogs, giving blood, but not due to any adult, these mishigasin are my own personal shtik.
And yes of ourse I missed your blog.

nuch a chosid said...

whoooaa whooaa - such titlen, I just wish it would take up a full page in der yid and be printed in those large black headline font (is it hebrew condensed?)

do u really need a artscroll translation on that? i don't belive you,

but for those of you who didnt get it, it says that "one should not scare a child saying a cat will take you, a dog will take you, bite you, etc. becasue "he" is called dog, cat, and all bad names to do harm (ch"v).
end of translation
i guess "he" meens the yetzer hora.

oh, my 'right hand' takes care of getting my message out to the public, via any meens necesery, just like the pictures of many rebbes get to the kol hoilem kilo

der ewige Jude said...

Glad to see you back, thought I'd stop being a lurker and leave a comment.
When I was a wee kindele the eltern would tell me, "The cats, they crawl in the crib, at night, up on to the babies, and steal their breath."
Now we have so many cats in the house that you have to shove them off the bed before you can get in. No mice though.

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Kasamba – LOL. Let the people appreciate that we still allow them that privilege!

Wearywife – Oh, you’re funny! Too funny! I’ll tell you honestly, I’m really more afraid of the two legged dogs than the four legged dogs although if a 4 wheeler were after me I wouldn’t be too glad either. And BTW – while we’re instilling unjustified fears into our children, the feet on the dogs don’t really count. It’s us mothers that often teach our children how ‘scary’ people are; how much what they say matters.

At least I was raised that way.

Yingerman – It’s normal. Lemme see. My prognosis is: Dogophopia, Bloodophobia and Darkophobia. It’s pretty normal. I’ll prescribe some medication for you if you want me to.

Nuch – I just started learning html codes. I can now make bold and italics in my comments. Next I’ll learn how to make you a full page ad…
So now the devil is a dog and a cat, hu?

Der Ewiga Jude – Welcome! How in the world did cats make their way into your house???

wearywife said...

If only we were half as afraid of loshen hora as some of us are of dogs and cats.....loshen hora is where the bite of a two legged dog can be more dangerous than a four legged dog. When I was a young girl I heard a terrifying tape on loshen hora that I still remember. On the other hand I still remember the seeing eye dog of my blind gentile neighbor. What an amazing animal....gentle, sweet, loved kids. I fell and scraped my knee one day....that dog would not leave my side until my mom came. I think he was actually trying to comfort me. You tell me who's better...such a dog or a two legged dog with a vicious mouth.

David_on_the_Lake said...

lol...
we are so very removed from nature...
We've become stressed out claustrophobic urbanites..

i happen to love animals and dogs..
I was once looking to buy a house and as were being taken around there was another couple too..looking around..suddenly we heard a bark from the basement...u shouldve seen that lady shriek and run out of there like a bat out of hell...

der ewige Jude said...

Shpitzle,
They are very tricky, like the yetzer hara, they show up at the door as kittens, cute, fuzzy, mewing. You think, poor thing, it's hungry and homeless, and you give it some food. Then they come back. Until one day it rains, and maybe it's cold too. And there they are all wet and shivery, and you think, I'll just bring it in and dry it off, and put it back out later. Then they have you and they never leave.

Anonymous said...

david maybe she was bitten by a dog in her youth - that happened to me and I react the same - I have always wanted to to try hypnosis to get rid of the fears so I dont hand it down to my kiddies

LutZi said...

Saw today Funny thing came out of Grocery Here in willi a Shpitzel lady high 30’s
Came out from the store in front of me suddenly she pushes her self back right on to me didn’t know what happened then saw young kid passing by with big DUUGY, I hade to laugh that your so right (as always) that there are ppl here who are really scared from this DOGS and lose there minds and don’t think what thy are doing

Leapa said...

Shpitz, your blog is super!

I'm a fellow blogger, and I wish I could write with your talent!

Incidentally, I have a good shtreimel wearing BP buddy whose Shomer Shabbos sister out of town is a veterinarian.

He keeps it the same secret as my blog identity, and when he accidentally disclosed it at a child's sheva brochos, the shidduch was almost torpedoed.

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Leapa, welcome and thanks for stopping by. Your story doesn’t look unusual, however unfortunate. How does a chassidish girl get to be a veterinarian?

Leapa said...

Not Raizel Reit (TTI).

She's Shomer Shabbos, not chassidishe.

How does a Satmar girl learn to write as well as you ?