Chullent

I was having typical Post Shopping Trauma. I had spent a full day in Boro Park exhausting my credit card and I started to question the good the shabbos robe did for me figure. Maybe it does give away the truth?

I got a little aware of my surroundings when a yungerman besides me placed his order. I was after him in line, and I was gonna feed some soup to my rumbling midsection. Any other edibles will only increase my suspicion about the shabbos robe.

The misses behind the counter in this corner deli was taking instructions.

Hallo, mach es ah pickle size potion mit chullent. In zey nisht karg mit deh fleysh, herst? Git hys, git hys. A slice kishka. Hust kigle? Overnight? Geb noor.

As the guy was carting away his tray to the little table in the eating section, I suddenly heard a divine voice tell me what to do. I was to take the tray from the guy and tell him “Yo, go home and eat the chicken soup the wife made”.

I was amusing myself with the thought when I realized the man had already left. He walked out with a loud burp as a thank you to the chef.

Not all men are like that, but I know quite a few that simply lack some manners. Eating your food is fine, but take your time and treat it with respect. Don’t pounce on it.

A while ago somebody posted a question on Yahoo answers. The person was wondering why Hassidic men smell. Smell? That was very unfair. Especially using that expression.

But deep down, I knew that although it is not right to be stereotyped with any such labels, some of our bachurim have turned into yungeleit without being taught anything about personal hygiene.

I’d start by simply introducing cleaning accessories called ‘soap’ and ‘deaoderant’. I’d point out that a toothbrush is not just for making pesachdig. A hair brush, although popularly designed for his sister, can be borrowed for the beard. And socks must be changed once a day.

Please and Thank You is universally also known as ‘bita’ and ‘danka’ so language barrier is not an excuse. On the subject: holding the door for others is not a must, but slamming it into other’s faces isn’t either.

If the wife isn’t the balabusta to do the buttons or wash the tallis there are professionals that do that. Also, not looking at woman is tsnuis, but not looking at all is not a chimreh, so wash them’s glasses. I'm not sure if people know this, but understanding a peshetle needs digging into the upper part of the face called brain, not the lower part called beard.

And mostly, don’t forget. Chullent is not G-D.