Saturday, January 20, 2007

Authorities Incorporated

I leaned back on the brick wall that lines the building exterior, my hands tucked into each opposite coat sleeve, and I tried to breathe in a relaxing pattern. I inhaled deeply and let out a nervous breath. Inquisitively, I bent over and looked around me. The place was different than I expected, in the sense that it was quiet, not the come-and-go rush I assumed it would be like. I pushed the lit doorbell again, held it down a little harder this time, and waited.

“Why aren’t they opening?” I whispered to my husband impatiently. “Huh? What's taking so long?”

I confess I didn’t come there with the cleanest of souls. My chassid had planned to go with a kvitle anyhow, and he thought I could use a blessing from a good yid that has a special bond with God. When he first mentioned it, I laughed till my guts spilled out, wiping tears away, but when the hysteria died down I noticed that I’d been doubled over alone. Yoelish didn’t think it was funny. He was convinced a trip to the Rabbi will do us good and that I have just to go to find out that he was right. He couldn't get much enthusiasm out of me when it comes to rabbis, but I did intentionally pick that old grey and navy, dull scarf to tie on my head. I figured a shpitzle veibele with sagging shoulders will distract the rabbi from my sinning insides.

By the time they ushered me in to the rabbi's room, I was already considering leaving the whole ordeal and walking right back home. I was tizzy with tension. Having never gone to the Rabbi before, what followed passed in a blur of men's black long coats and thing belts tied on top. I don’t really remember how I arrived into the big room, one laced with sefarim on its endless walls. I think we went there was a quick toll exchange between Moshe and the gabi on our way in.

In the room, I wasn’t offered a seat or a kichelech made by the rebbetzin. I just stood at the door of the fluorescent-blue room that was empty of props but the rabbi’s heavy table. My husband rushed over to kiss the rabbi’s hand. The Rebbeh Shlita shukled in a front-to-back motion and loudly benched us with wonderful things.

"Umeyn... Umeyn... Umeyn... Umeyn..."

I nodded amens fervently. Then the rabbi fell silent. Yoelish’l spoke; he said it. I felt sick with fear when he made the admission about my personal shortcoming, my hidden reality. Yoelish told the rabbi that I have a blog, and that I feel it’s starting to poison my mind. That I stumbled upon the Internet unintentionally, and I’ve been trapped ever since. What should we do?

I began chewing at my nails. I pulled my pocket book strap back over my shoulders.

“Ah Blok?!" The rabbi's question came in a learning tune. "And there’s J Net or any other such program?”

“Yu, Yu, of course!”

The rabbi gazed down on his sefar, his fingers running through his beard through his beard. Then he balled up the end of his beard in his hand. He seemed unable to sit without jerking in little movements. Finally he looked me in the eye and asked, “In Gugle edsense (Google Adsense), iz doos doo? (do you have that?)”

My husband turned to me confused about what that adsense was all about.

“Se-iz mayglech” I murmured, my eyes fixed on my nails. It's possible to install it.

Meyn froe zoogt es is mayglech, it’s possible” Yoelish repeated to the rabbi.

“Nee." came his hoarse, pshetldig voice, "Our educational institutions are struggling financially. The melamdim in the yeshivos are not getting paid and the buildings can't be covered. Oz men ken oroishelfen, if we can help out, that would be a big mitzvah. Seshteyt duch, "shliach mitzvah eyneh nizoykin" he who does a good deed cannot be in danger. Should der eybershter help you and you should be successful in alleh inyanim, amen!”


So very dear reader, I’ve put Google Ad Sense up. Let us hope that in the merit of a combined Blogger’s effort we’ll be zocha to see a lot of riches for this rabbi and a few more rabbjs, until moschiach tsidkayno, Amen!

97 comments:

Anonymous said...

Antisemite!!!

(jumper)

Leapa said...

The same Yoelish who plays pool incognito?

Why didn't he mention that?

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Anon - Jumper???

Leapa - Of course he did! He even has a special selach verse on yom kippur for playing pool.

Skeleton said...

Shpitz, you are FUNNY!

Anonymous said...

Shpitz,

I'm offically ROFL!!!

Btw, you didn't get any kichlech, cuz the rebbetzin with her bina yesirah sensed your "impure" intentions. Leave it up 2 the women...

YOU ROCK SHPITZ, KEEP IT UP

Anonymous said...

s. gut gezogt gut gezogt

nuch a chosid said...

I am Rolling on the floor laughing my long beard off,

i can hardly catch my breath

u are as good as it gets.

nuch a chosid said...

tell the rebbe that u only do it on the condition that at the next dinner of the mosdos you'll be honored, and your blog mentioned honorably too all the thousends chadisim

Chananiah Yom Tov Lipa said...

Shpitz, another great one!
MAMESH ERSHTKLASSIK!
Tizke lemitzves!

It's All Good Now said...

You know what? If it wouldn't be so imaginable, I would also be laughing. But in today's farkrimteh velt, the ends are starting to justify the means. Reminds me of when my grandfather berated me for having the treifeneh internet in my house, and then in the next sentence he asked me to look up some senior citizen airfare for him. Nu, nu. Those of you who are familiar with me and my attitude, can imagine the verbal tirade I undleashed. See? I don't try to kosherize or justify what I do. I call a spade a spade. If I am doing something wrong, I will say that it's wrong but that I want to do it anyway. I will not try to convince you, me, God, or anyone else, that what I'm doing is not really so bad, or not bad at all, because....INSERT YOUR OWN EXCUSES HERE.
Shpitzle, you've got your finger on the pulse of what makes us tick and on what ticks us off. Keep on posting.

Lipelle said...

Shpitzle I start thinking that you are risking your Shulem Bayis with all the comments complementing you, you will start to feel like a God-des,Your Hubby won`t be able to compete with all this flirting complements,... Just a taught

Yukel said...

I second Lipelle, sometimes I wonder how Yoilish is allowing this blog, does he know about it in the first place? Anyways Shpitzle, great post, well said as usual.

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Skel – How ‘bout we turn this into a conversation? (those were my intentions. I’m not planning to ‘gram’ out chosen kallah next.)

Anon – That evil rebbetzin! I better get a big chunk of hell cut off for being shtruffed like this!! Did you eva? Keep the food from me?

Anon – gut gezugt, gut gezukt…. :O)

Nuch a chossid – eh he. Eh hem. Eech?? Kuvid? Ach! (when my name will be called I will be completely surprised!) eech broach nisht day alah zachin.

CH”YL – A rabbi like ever rabbi! Read a post and you consider it your personal gain…

IAGN – LOL! You’re one heck of a woman! I really don’t have the time to insert all my excuses now. Excuse good enough?
Not only does the end justify the means, but we also sell our souls for the buck in a wink. The hard working family becomes victim to the money hungry authorities. The end justifies the means, but what are the ends????

Lipelle – You are so right. I’m on my way back to the rabbi to discuss that problem.

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Hey, hey. Don't go! I likee the compliments. dontyall worry about my shalom bayis!

On a serious note my husband is a god in his own right. He's a very, very special person.

Does a woman have to be a nobody if that's what it takes to keep a marriage together? (answer to this trick can be found in the most recent issue of The Malos)

Lipelle said...

Recived a text message on my cell (as is the style lately): "I need a wife that: Should look like a girl, Act like a lady, Think like a man, And work like a dog"

Frumcouple said...

Shpitzle: You are just something!

The truth of the mater is that some people think that some Rebbes will sell the entire torah for some $$. It is not exactly so, it's just that we think that the internet is all the way Treif. In all honesty it is one of HKB"H greatest inventions, we just need to know how to utilize it. So if it can generate $$...way to go!

BTW who's that Rebbe I'd like to go to him.

der ewige Jude said...

Till I got to the "note", I thought "Mamish, the Satmar Rebbe is cool with the blogging so long as the revenue dollars go to tzadaka." And I was impressed that you managed to type after nibbling your fingers to the nubbins.

Baal Habos said...

> I think we went through a tollbooth somewhere on the way operated by a gabbi.

LOL.

>“Nee." came his hoarse, peshetldig voice, "The mosdes are struggling financially. The melamdim are not getting paid and the buildings are hardly surviving.

Even with the note, I wasn't certain. I thoughg you Chassidim are really being worked through the ringer. I'm glad I saw everyone's comments here first.

ROFL, superpost.

nuch a chosid said...

Ye'all know העוסק במצוה פטור מן המצוה so while Shpitzele is oisek in generating funds for her rebbe's institutions she gets a special pass at the rebbe's isurim against internet etc.

Y.Y. said...

doos miz zein r' zalmen leib
r' aron vult keinmool nisht maaskim gevain

Chaya said...

Did you HAVE to add the note at the end? Is that what you think of your fans' intelligence and sense of humor?
This is your funniest post ever....but then again, I think I say that every time I read your latest....

Chananiah Yom Tov Lipa said...

Y.Y., you have been oiver on a befairishe din in the Shpitzle Shilchen Urich!

Shtait in Siman Alef (10/23/06):
"...when one googles the word Satmar, like myself, you get hundreds of result pertaining to either the rift (let's not go there) or the restrictions."

My pask is you must be mechaper with 310 tviles in a zaloini mikveh (far mtoshed dem vasser), plus 18 Hail Yoeilies.

Y.Y. said...

The place was different than I expected, in the sense that it was quite, not the come-and-go rush

you mean quiet? not quite i guess your satmerkeit just shined through as microsoft's spell checker failed you lol

Kiryas Yoel said...

Shpitz, I wish i had the time to write blogs ( I like to think I would be great at it ) but unfourtunaly I dont have the time to write just to sneak in every now and then to read.
Reading this blog just reaffirmed my cocnlsuion that i drew some years ago on the subject of rebbes and chasidis in general. I became a athesit on that ideaoligy.
Keep me smilng lady

davidonthelake said...

lol...
Now I feel good that with my clicks..I'm teeing oif far yiddishkeit...

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Frumcouple – While it’s true that we all agree that there are some non-treif parts to the internet, rabbis in my opinion have been deduced to financial figures nowadays. They’re just faces to for the rich and famous to get richer and more famous.

I don’t know the name of the rebbeh. I don’t think they release that information. They only give you the name of the gabbi.



Der Ewiga Jude - Thank god for toes…



Skel I can’t edit comments.



BHB – Nah. A chassid will notice this as hocus in a snap. Google Adsense?! How’s that gonna buy golden buttons for the rabbi? Our standards are higher.



Epes – You’re a navi mammish. Last time at the Kahl’s meeting I explained to the farzamlta about asdf jkl;. Asdf jkl;.



YY – LOL! The rabbeh did good with you. You’re more asset than the whole google adsense inaynim.



Semgirl – I know. I make dis program befoir, I vait, vait, vait for deh mahnee, dee mahnee don’t coming to me. So we’ll let the charity tsvek do the waiting now.



Chaya – I didn’t want those hitskep who’s payos stand in the air to get any wrong ideas. My children still need me…

But I do appreciate what you’re saying. Honestly, every time I put up a post I take it off immediately after, then put it back up again. Woohoo, do I have an abundance of confidence! I find putting disclaimers up to help.



Chanya – Oh, man, you’re one heck of a dude indeed! You make sure to stick around. (I’m sure that’s easy considering the type of water involved in your tviles…)

Back to the gemorah. Seshtayt a Rashi, in one of the comments, that looking back can turn you into a pile of salt. So don’t EVER read old posts. I’m starting to saltify already.



YY – Where? I don’t see. Zoom. Zooooom. I still don’t see. This binocular doesn’t work. Or am I satmarsighted?

Kiryas Yoel said...

One more thing, I can't seem to find any fiction in the story.....

Also A Chussid said...

Shpitz,

ROFL……

Hope the day is not too far away when you will post a story like this and it wont be fictional contents

ex said...

KFG

Ex said...

Was that enough? or should I say more ? like:
Shpitzle you are sooooooo cute.
Hysterical.
Hillarious.
WOW!!! you did it again.
I am litterly on the floor rolling..
I think its the best post ever
Or add the word official before any word you feel like, i.e. Officialy lmao. etc. ?

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Kiryas Yoel (welcome) – There is only one god so being an atheist means being Godless. There are so many rebbes that disbelieving in some is actually a good thing.
Ah, the fiction in the post… I didn’t actually go to the rebbeh with a grey/blue tichel that has little orange flowers. I wore a hot pink tichle (anyone knows where I can buy one?) and chewed gum. “Yo rAbbi, you gah a popcorn thingy in yew beards” pop. Bubble.

And do try your hand at blogging. The good thing is it’s on your own time.

David On the Lake – You are such a tsadik’l. Thanks. Please visit my blog 850 times a day. 30% of the proceeds will go to you.

Also! – Are you and my husband gonna gang up on me and drag me to the rebbeh while I’m sleeping??
I can agree with your attitude that things are getting better, to some extent, but I think believing there’s improvement in the Rebbish area is wishful thinking already.

XYZ – Aol, eat your heart out! Yiddish abbreviation here we come!

Y.Y. said...

the 4th line the 5th word lol

esther said...

Hey Y.Y., Now you're letting your ignorance come through. Don't you know that different browsers, different resolution settings, and different screeen sizes will cause the text to wrap differently for different users?? So "the fourth line, the fifth word" may not point Shpitz to "quite" the word you meant to direct her to.

Chananiah Yom Tov Lipa said...

Shpitz, Nice try but I've seen you wearing your pink tichle in public!
Check out Shpitz!

I'll be dan lekaf zchis, maybe you were kidnapped by some Tzionim r"l.

Oy, I feel sooooo salty... ;)

Kiryas Yoel said...

Just a clarifacaition on my atheist reference.
It wasnt meant towards g-d (I know thats the the true meaning of that word)it was meant towards the rebbes. I dont belive in rebbes at all.Which is a whole post by itself.
My opinon, the idioligy and the pricipals that the Baal Shem Tov founded Chasiddus is the direct oppisite whats Chasidus asks from us today

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

YY – were? Eye downt sea?

Esther – !. I was running around the blog with a compass. Thank girl!

Chananya – Oh, now I’m hot pink in the front too. (help, there’s a tzyoini in my blog!)
Been a while since I swapped out my bitmap paintbrush, hmmmm.

Kiryas Yoel – God forbid *anyone* misunderstood that you’re an atheist. Chasveshalem!
My point was that the ESSENCE of being a rabbinical believer nowadays is directly tied with being a rabbinical atheist. Meaning, you believe in your rebbeh only because you don’t believe in the next.
But I guess around here we’re all rabbinical atheists completely. (raise your hand if you’re not. Then go to the corner called hydepark). I agree that what the Baal Shem stands for is a nice interpretation of yiddishkeit. Unfortunately, there’s NOTHING left of that. I wonder how this happened.

Chananiah Yom Tov Lipa said...

"I agree that what the Baal Shem stands for is a nice interpretation of yiddishkeit. Unfortunately, there’s NOTHING left of that..."

Reb Yoeilish (aka der heilige feter zy"a umayn) would be so proud of you! Are you sure you're not a Rebbisha einikle? You took the words right out of his mouth!
״נשתכחה דרך הבעש״ט״

(I hope no lubabs are around.)
Now go put some samet and shtrukes on that hotpink shpitzle! GO ON GIRL!

kasamba said...

Ah, so your blog has Rabbinical supervision!

Kiryas Yoel said...

But I guess around here we’re all rabbinical atheists completely. (raise your hand if you’re not. Then go to the corner called hydepark). I agree that what the Baal Shem stands for is a nice interpretation of yiddishkeit. Unfortunately, there’s NOTHING left of that. I wonder how this happened.



I will tell you how it happened.If the rebbes would coutinue to preach the baal shem's way they would have to work alot harder.So the changed their role they becames kings (i.e. malchus Satmer or malchus Bobov).
In order for them to be kings I have to be their slave.
I refuse to do that

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Chanayala – You are SUCH an atheist. Proud of me?!?!?!
BTW – The strukes thing is Israeli. It’s not really us. The pepeta pants though, that is us. All women wear it.

Kasamba – LOL! Yup, so it is!

KY – I think you’re being a bit too hard on the rabbis. I think the Baal Shem’s derech was based mostly on his own personality and disposition. He left us with very little to hold onto once his ‘varemkeit’ escaped this world… He must’ve been a real character. Rabonim today are those that are sons of rabonim. That gives us very little odds of landing natural leaders. Most rabbis drown in all the commotion that’s going on around them.

Disclaimer: If any of the above contains information that has no hands and no fees, you have no argument against me. For us Chassidim facts don’t count. (and that’s not a fact either.)

Kiryas yoel said...

Shpitz, I was waiting for the moment that I would finally disgaree with you ( I looooooove debating ).
Am I hitting to much on rebbes? hell yeah.
In your own response lays the problam.
in your own words, Rabonim today are those that are sons of rabonim.

Since when should leadership or being a Rebbe be based on whos son son you are?.Arent there much more qualified pepole to lead, only they cant because they dont have a brand name?


The Ball Shemvs derech wasnt based on personality it wased based on ideaoligy and principle.Although it took a great person like him to come up with that idea you dont have to be a great person like him to practice it.
The Ball shems succcesor was not his son it was his biggest talmid, the Rebbe Reb Ber.

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Where's my bulletproof vest? I love debating too...

I really am not very familiar with our history. I know a lot of kretchma stories though. I need to understand what his principles were and please provide a decent argument as to how it can survive without him.

As for leaders, did I say I'm all for our leadership system? Even teachers in school aren't the leaders, they're the well behaved kids. The whole leader idea has completely escaped us. If we could have rabbinical elections I'm all for it. Put me on the ballot. I want to show Hillary a lesson.

chav said...

Okay, my abs hurt from laughing.

I can't understand why you're just sitting there with your blog... you should be raking it in - writing professionally!!!!

btw, don't joke about being a candidate. you never know who'll nominate you. I personally don't think heimishe yidden belong in washington, but there you are.

Kiryas Yoel said...

No bulletproof vest needed.Only fasten your seat belts( not tight though).My response will come tomorrow I hope. Gotta get ready to leave work and go to my real job.
Parenting is my real job.

hasid_letz said...

"My point was that the ESSENCE of being a rabbinical believer nowadays is directly tied with being a rabbinical atheist. Meaning, you believe in your rebbeh only because you don’t believe in the next."

And the essence of being a G-d believer is any different? You believe in your G-d, only because you don't believe in, say, the Christian God.

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
-- Stephen Henry Roberts (1901-71)

Letz

Chananiah Yom Tov Lipa said...

My $0.02:
It sort of depends. A "Rebbe" of a Chassidus usually is a family business. But a Kehilla "Ruv" has classically been chosen by popular demand in that particular Kehilla. Now the lines have blurred and it's all messed up. Look what happened with the Oberlanders (Vien, etc.)
It is different in E. Israel, where I find people are more ehrlich in their chassidishkeit. It's not just about Thursday night VIP Chulent at Gottleibs, some of them actually mean it.
For example, someone like the helige R' Tzvi Mayer Zilberberg who doesn't shtam from Rebbes (ok Reb Gedalyeh Shor, he doesn't count) has become a Rebbe on his own merit and Tsidkis.
To me he proves that someone can rise to the top, and deserve it.
There is hope Yidden.

Hoezentragerin said...

Letz,
"And the essence of being a G-d believer is any different? You believe in your G-d, only because you don't believe in, say, the Christian God".

Same God actually, only different gospel.

CYT,
How dare you forget to mention the Mechelist?!

Hasid_Letz said...

"Same God actually, only different gospel."

Not according to Rambam

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Chav – You’re too kind. Beeleyoumee, a blog is MORE than enough for me. Sometimes it’s so overwhelming I feel like retiring and going back to sewing bekisha buttons full time.

Letz – While Mr. Roberts makes a great argument against the believer, this is not the ESSENCE of a believer. The reason a believer is set on proving every other faith wrong is simply because there is no validity to his faith if there is place for more than one religion on the planet. Unless you accept religion as nothing more than a moral code (which is actually the source of tolerance).

CYL – I think you’re a tad too hopeful. At least where I come from. Although I don’t know who your tsadik is, my family would never accept him as a valid piece of rabbinism. It’s our rebbeh, the one and only, echud. Take HT’s example, Mechele. I grew up knowing that he’s a crook. Not just once did I wonder what it is that makes people run to him and what it is that makes us all despise him.
Now what’s the fee for you .02cents? (ha, ha, ha! Didn’t I make now the most gelungana vitz?! A gits!)

HT – Well said, as usual.

Chananiah Yom Tov Lipa said...

Pepeta pants? Ichub kynmul nisht gehert derfin. Mistumeh siz nuch a tzionishe zach r"l.

Curious said...

Chav...
Very complimentory...
But like, how do abs hurt from laughing?

"my abs hurt from laughing."

previous anon said...

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JewishBiFemme said...

This is far from funny. Shows how corrupted our frum society is.

A shpitzle blogger came along, allah hiesa chassidim shpien ois hundreds of positive comments here..Kudos to you!!

Can you smell hypocrisy? When I blog about people like y'all who look frum and preach to others but are the biggest two faced idiots who do the most unorthodox things in private Y'all make it your mission to hit me like a bomb with negative comments .

So a post regarding women driving deserves negative comments, but such ultra ortho blog names like y'all menner - vieber flirting, drooling, emailing on the net while your spouse doesn't even know you are at a computer but assume you are hard at work is OK?

Our society is so farkrimpt. You guys make fun of true holy people (rabbis). Some people do rely on a rebbes brucha, chizuk. Its no laughing matter.
Who are y'all to decide whats right or wrong in our frum society? Its one thing to have an opinion but you cannot judge others If you yourself are far from perfect.

Those who belittle rebbes how they make money are those who secretly run off with their viesa sucken to gamble in AC or Las vages. I wont bother mentioning again the tax frauds/gov help y'all get. Or your huge schar limid bill you never paid the moised cause the money goes to ho's or drinking but thats ok right?

Shpitz, vart nisht oif di gelt..pick your butt up and go get it yourself. Im sure you have some talent, maybe you start a bake sale? ah I know nie chasunah klieder far frimme froin. Or bake challas $20 a peice. Now thats money making like a true shpiltze yiddena not putting up google ads on a blog where fake yingeliet (who insist their wives be stay at home mothers cause only men deserve all the fun/sociel life, independence a job comes with) will pay you just to get into your pants uh I meant skirt.

Is this how fake chanyuckes socialize?

exsemgirl said...

Lol! Thanks for the chuckle.

Zolst zein zoche tzi zan a gitta in elecha mama ochert!! :P

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

JBF – Give me a second while I compose myself. Okay. Okay. Woof. Now please tell me my challas will at least sell for $20 bucks. I guess for a moment there I let the guys convince me that my parents were wrong.



I’m not gonna let anyone - Boys or Girls - tell me otherwise. I’m good at this. If I don’t put the salt next to the eggs the dough won’t have yellow spots. Also, sugar makes the yeast rise better so I’ll put one next to the next. Yolks create a nice shine, but we’ll need one white for the flow. But that’s when I’m done braiding.



JBF, personal bruises aside, I suppose you’re right. And while I’m not ready to give the blog up (right now), and neither to lock the guys out, I guess I do make a fool of myself. However, you tend to point the obvious out a tad too bluntly.



As for your opinions, I find that your points are often not on the surface. When I learned to appreciate your style I realized how opinionated you are, and what interesting view points you have. Let’s all not take things too personally. (I’m listening…)



Rabbis, from my personal experience, don’t deserve the title. Now I’m sure there are some great Rabbis out there, but the Satmar rabbis of today bicker, live lavishly and preach about the same senseless thing over and over again. Do you think the Satmar rabbi’s are worthy of leading this establishment? If you do, how much do you think of this establishment in the first place?



We’re good people, however many problems we might have. But to take the honor of leading us, no, to fight for the honor, you have to be something else.



You are more than welcome to disagree.



And as this came up already, let me point out that my intentions with this blog is to host discussion. Not to yeast around with my self esteem, and add sugar to the side. I would really appreciate less fluff and more stuff.

Kiryas Yoel said...

When you start comparing belive in Rebbes to Belive in Hsahem, pass me a joint please.
When it comes to beliving in hashem there is guidelines set by the rambam what we can question about him and what not.For example, you cant question his existence but u can question how he treats you.
I dont think Rebbes have earned that respect from us

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

CYL - Peppeta pants (knee length) is a common levish with rebbish/Israelis.

Previous Anon - LOL! This is cruel! The ad tells me "men: find a better woman now". Hu?
I wonder how they run the ads.

Exsem - Amen!

Kiryas Yoel - In my defense I never questioned the rebbes existence. That's for the chabadniks.
(You owe me that argument)

JewishBiFemme said...

Shpitz, poor baby! I wasn't trying to insult you! IM the last person you should be insulted by...(for obvious reasons here on blog world)

You're right my point is off the post topic sometimes. Reread most comments and tell me what's wrong with this picture?

"And as this came up already, let me point out that my intentions with this blog is to host discussion. Not to yeast around with my self esteem, and add sugar to the side. I would really appreciate less fluff and more stuff."

Nothing wrong with boosting your self esteem in any way you feel its right. I just gave you my opinion like it or not. IM not here to insult you. I just don't understand why nobody has a problem with a blog called shpitzle with all the frimma blog names or the things being said. So when an outsider throws insults that Satmar is BS we will all jump to defend them.

Shpitz, Nothing against you. You are amazing. If only I got half your talent..It was mostly directed to others (you know who) in general not you.


You handle negativity quit well! You Go Girl!!!

As for appreciating my style! Sorry most cant handle it but I am really not as angry as I come across.

Kiryas Yoel said...

Kiryas Yoel - In my defense I never questioned the rebbes existence. That's for the chabadniks.


Shpitz, again you have your facts wrong.you really need to hit the history books about chasidis hard and often.
Dont confuse Chabad and Moshiachistin.True, those who want to be belive that he is still around happen to be from the Chabad movement thats not what Chabad is all about.
Since I have a debt to settle with you why dont we all combine it in one.
The founder of the Chasidish movement was the Ball shem tov.
He didnt just exist moitze shabbes when he made those fast moving trips with the famous Alexi.( like u mentioned the kretchmeh stories).He basicly changed the philosophy of it means being a good erliche yid.Up till then a perfect erliche yid was someone who was a big lamden, knew kol hatorah kilo and the rest like the shoe repair,tailor,milkman, etc. were looked down by themselves and evryone else. He came and evalted the status of these ppl,that you can be accepted by Hashem like the big lamdnim in a way that he can relate to.
He said, come daven 3 times a day learn a little Mishnayos say a little Tehillim dirnk a shot or 2 of vodka, communicate with Hashem in your own little way and thats perfectly acceptable to Hashem.

His talmidim after expanded on that theory.Some by saying communicate with Hashem thru song, music,devaikos, etc.

The founder of Chabad took Chasidis a step further.His teachings were far more deeper much more diffucult to understand for the mainstream ppl.Not that he ignored them.For the most part his teachings they coudnt undertand.


I belive that same philosphy and principil can be practiced today some 200 yrs after his time.
If you really look around today you can see how evrything thats being done today is soooo agaisnt the philosphy that he preached to us then.
I hope that clarifies things a little I am sure this is not the last conversation we gonna have on this issue.

Hoezentragerin said...

To expand on what KJ's been saying:

It's high time we realize that Chasidus was a failed experiment.

While Chasidus was meant to be a movement for, and about the individual, it has evolved into the antithesis of individualism.

I had this epiphany on Simchas Torah on the way to shul. I overheard a mother telling her young son, "men giet gien is shil in zehn vi azoi di rebbe tanced."

In fact, that's all you heard. Which Rebbe danced where, and how.

Today, Chasidus is about the Rebbe, the kehila, and mass production.

A movement that was about presenting the beauty of torah and yidishkiet to the ignorant masses, has promoted and even encouraged ignorance instead of torah.

So many have traded in a belief and commitment to yidishkiet, for a blind belief in their Rebbe and a staunch commitment to their kehila.
With what's happening to Bobov, Satmar, Kloisinburg, and others; the writing is on the wall.

Chaim Chusid said...

Madame Pointe,


Magnificent writing as usual!

I would however like to better understand the pointe that you are trying to make.

I remain,
Chaim

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

HT and KY - Thanks so much for filling me in!

Chassidis did redefine what a good jew is all about, due to the Baal Shem's unique appreciation for the common person (individual in Hoezen’s words). While he taught these people to communicate with Hashem in their own way, his concept was lost on us and we turned "Song and Dance" into another bible. I don't see how a lifestyle that allows for flexibility within the religion, to be possible sans someone to keep the members in line. Otherwise our community membership will dwindle in a snap.

CC - My pointe' (thanks for aksin') is that today's rabbis will sell your soul and their soul for the buck. They turn a blind eye to anyone that pays 'the mortgage' regardless of how grave their sins might be. Pretty unfair, considering how hard they can be on those that don't 'shmir' the 'oven oon'.

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GHPj8TaBAM

kjrebbetzin said...

Most of the old chasidishe rebbes or their gabas asked for pidyonos in exchange for bruchos accordin to the maise beechlech.It's not a new phenomenon. I believe they gave most of it to tzedukeh unlike todays rebbes that stuff it in their pockets or use it to buy little mansions for their kids.And don't forget all the rebbes kids and einiklech and eer einiklach go to their own mosdos for free and guess who's paying? I guess the bloggers, hmmm..
Did I mention great great funny funny blog.Your welcome any time for kichelech and tons of free bruchos in my rebbisteve.

Independent Frum Thinker said...

Shpitzle –
You have a unique and uncanny ability to to express your deeply-felt opinions in a humorous & subtle fashion.
Perhaps you should seriously consider going professional.
Wishing you riches from those ads!

Jewish Blogmeister said...

FYI anyone who needed to read the note you left should have his head examined:)

Kiryas Yoel said...

Hoezentragerin said...
To expand on what KJ's been saying:

It's high time we realize that Chasidus was a failed experiment.



The concept what chasidis was meant to be was not and is not a failed experiment.We as a soceity as frum chasidish pepole has failed.
If it is any consalation to you so have the litvish pepole.
When we defy pepole based on how they dress or how much money they have it is doomed for failure.

Chaim Chusid said...

Madame Pointe,

Let me give you a scenario....

The rabbi is for arguments sake indeed a saintly man,, he looks at you and sees that you really do need an outlet,,, he makes a decision to encourage you to continue, while reminding you to keep in mind that what you’re doing always needs a higher purpose.

I see nothing hypocritical,,, or wrong.....

Yes there are Rabunim out there that are fakes and phonies, HOWEVER there are some that are true to themselves, their communities, and G-d.

I remain,
Chaim

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

KJ Rebbetzin I wonder if amuliga rebbes also used vendors based on their rabbinical preference versus their actual product. Well, what am I gonna cry about. I’ve got your wonderful majesty now! As the good queen once said, “If there is no bread, eat cake”. So bring out the kichelech that the hoezbucher baked.

IFT Thanks! I really, really appreciate you ‘getting it’.

Jewish Blogmeister Okay. I’ve already made an appointment ;^).

KY Just out of curiosity, how do you suppose chassidis SHOULD look circa 2007? We’d sit in bars watching the game and yell yechi?

Rabbi CC I challenge you to bring me one real rabbi that can make this episode be realistic fiction versus just fiction.
(And although saying “me” is a great answer, it falls through unless you have the shteken un hoiker.)

Also A Chussid said...

Chaim,

Yes there are Rabunim out there that are fakes and phonies, HOWEVER there are some that are true to themselves, their communities, and G-d.

You might be able to name one… ok maybe two but name me three rabunim that fits the above criteria… Yes I challenge you…

Hoezentragerin said...

The concept what chasidis was meant to be was not and is not a failed experiment.

KJ,
Socialism was also a beautiful concept, and yet it failed.
Many theories are beautiful, but in theory only. A theory is not an experiment.

Kiryas Yoel said...

Hozen.......... Big difference. the socalist ideoligy never worked chassids when it was practeced like it was meant to be worked perfectly.

shpitz........Chasids circa 2007 should not be different then in 1850.

Chaim Chusid said...

Madame Pointe, and A A C,

I thought I would get responses along these lines, let me try this:

YOU choose to go to a rabbi, YOU choose to decide what the right thing for you to do is, and YOU choose whether or not to accept the rabbi's response.

We both agree that there are rabbis out there that are legit,, if you can't find one and end up at the doorstep of a fake; it's really your own fault!

You gotta do what you believe and you gotta follow your heart, if you truly don't believe that rabbis are holy, then DO NOT GO TO THEM, otherwise you’re just fooling yourself!

Listen we can't fix all that is broken in the world, but we don't have to choose to keep putting a quarter into a broken meter,, if ya get what I mean.

I remain,
Chaim

ex said...

Shpitz:
Please, a personal favor.

Do not address anyone as KY ;)

Also A Chussid said...

R’ Chaim,

HOWEVER there are some that are true to themselves, their communities, and G-d.

Name three Rabunim that fits your description…

Anonymous said...

Ex,
It stands for Kentucky except if your head is wired only one way.

Skeleton said...

How should chassidus look like in 2007?

It should be disbanded, replaced by a Yiddishkeit that emphasizes ehrlichkeit, mentchlichkeit, (feasible) commitment to halachah without making chumrahs out to be normative halachah, and an attempt at integrating our "outside" lives, our lives at work, our interaction with non-Jews and the other gender, with what our Yiddishkeit means to us.

Further adherence to strictness and rigidity will only lead to further polarization of the "frummy" vs. "bummy" olams, a problem that keeps on growing while our so-called rabbonim are turning a blind eye and trying to push us deeper into chumrahland.

JewishBiFemme said...

"Name three Rabunim that fits your description…"

1) Toldes Aharon
2) Toldes Avrom Yitzchok
3) My Daddy

Shpitz, If you don't mind my asking. If you send your kids to Satmar are they in the old or new?
(I know nothing about the politics just curious)

Also A Chussid said...

JBF,

First I’m glad you are back blogging…

With all due respect, since I don’t who you are I don’t know who your father is so he is out… The two others you mentioned please… you must be kidding me… Have we forgotten the fighting’s these two heiligie tzadikim were involved in, all in the name of the bashefer and not about koved?

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Kiryas Yoel - Someone please draw a line. Does chassidis mean song and dance and sleeping late or the appreciation for each individual? I think we’re getting the two confused.

Sir Chusid - I guess you go with the JFK version of Chassidis. Ask not what your rabbi can do for you, but what you can do for your rabbi. As my own rabbi Yoelish says, you have faith in a tree, the tree will perform miracles.
Nah. I don’t go with this shitah. The tree in my experience remains tree.

Ex - lol! What a dirty little village that is!

AAC - Exactly!

Anon - I’m sure a person from K- will be very offended if confused with Kentucky. Ex has a point.

Skel - In my efforts to better understand chassidis, what exactly do we have to get rid of that’s ‘chassidish’ in order for us to un-chassidisize? I don’t see how our problems originate from the failure of this ‘experiment’.

JBF - Well, although my family is very involved, I personally am neutral. So I send my kids to the new school on Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday and to the old school on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

AAC - Lol! I didn’t think you’ll be able to scratch ALL three this fast. Are litvish rabbis different? (ignorance alert)

Just a little note. I appreciate all comments and usually publish ‘em all. If I didn’t, it’s just because I wasn’t happy with the direction of the conversation. But I do want to thank you very much for it...

Good Shabbos! :)

socialworker/frustrated mom said...

Amen good for you I couldn't figure out how to do the google ad thing I tried and then again it would ruin my lovely blog design. It looks great on your site though lol. I got scared when you said that your hubby told the rebbe about the blog but thank goodness all is ok:).

ruller38 said...

I love your blog. Please keep it up

BrooklynJewishGuy said...

I have no patience or time to read all 81 comments, but let me add one. Fantastic. I hope your hubby appreciates what kinda woman you are!!! If my wife were like you, I wouldn't have to be searching for "spice" elsewhere. < winks >
A gutten shabbos.

Chananiah Yom Tov Lipa said...

BJG! NI! SHOIVEVIM!
After reading that, I'm going to have to fast 2 extra weeks for SHOIVEVIM TAT.
Oy meh hoyu luni...

Skeleton said...

I don't think it was an 'experiment', it was what was needed then at a time when elevating the poshut person was essential to keeping Yiddishkeit alive. But since we've veered so far from it, from emphasizing poshtus and individual derech hashem to enforcing a herd mentality with every possible chumrah in piety straight out of the gemara (my favorite example is that of couples not walking together. IIRC, there's a source somewhere (gemara, or possibly sefer chassidim) that a chassid doesn't walk together with his wife. So yeder tzveiter yoilishl in berele mit veise zuken hut bashlusen az er iz takke der chussid fin vem m'redt, although the reference is to someone like "R' Yosi Kohen, chusid" (Avos), a truly elevated individual.

It's not even like we need to get rid of "chassidis", because what we're doing shmeckt veinig from true chassidis. When half your olam is allergic to women while the other half hangs out at Blockbuster, you know you've got a problem finding the shvil hazahav.

There's an assumption that relaxing standards will lead to further pushing of the boundaries. Perhaps it's true. But perhaps it isn't true for everyone, or even a majority, and relaxing some standards sh'ein hatzibbur yacholim l'amoid boi while trying to tighten others that are more important halachically will lead to more yiras shomayim even if some of the trappings go.

MOM said...

very funny... as long as you support the Mosdos with your activities... :)

Kiryas Yoel said...

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...
Kiryas Yoel - Someone please draw a line. Does chassidis mean song and dance and sleeping late or the appreciation for each individual? I think we’re getting the two confused.




Hozen said it best, chasidis was meant for the pepole not for the rebbes. You really think that the Ball Shem Tov bentched kallah jewelry, was saandek at evry childs bris, or did upsheirns?.All he did was, elevate the magority of yidden to a level that they felt lovable and acceptable to hashem.Now it has become only about the rebbes and thier corparaion( i.e. moisdes).

Shpitz, song and dance cannot be combined in the same sentence. nothing wrong with song and dance but sleeping later the zeman krias shema is against halocho. The Ball shem for sure wasnt for that .

A Heimishe said...

I had a good laugh!

I am glad the Rebbe's are finally coming to conclusion that they can't ban people from going online and instead encourage them to make the most out of it.

I hope all Rebbe's will follow the same direction.

Great Job Shpitzle, keep up the good work!

hasid_letz said...

"sleeping later the zeman krias shema is against halocho. The Ball shem for sure wasnt for that"

KY,
And you know this because you have studied the Baal Shem's writings and it is evident therefrom that his commitment to halacha was uncompromising? I don't know what world you live in, but it seems to be one whose reality is shaped by your personal illusions.

Lady-Light said...

Awright, you convinced me! I was considering putting on google adsense on my own blog but was mehasesing , until I read your post about the gevaldike tzedakah it can do. So, right away I will make my blog kasher le-mehadrin by...

Anonymous said...

Shpitzle,
How about a better money maker - taking online Kvitlech. A virtual Rebbe with paypal pidyoinois, who could ask for more!

Kiryas Yoel said...

Letz, when this becomes a personal attack on the Ball Shem I will take the the high road.Thats not being funny ( Letz ) that dangerus.

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harry said...

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harry said...

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