Saturday, November 11, 2006

God’s Guards

I have this black suit; it’s my suit-mate, I think. My body and the suit have gotten along even through the worst of times. Even when the doctor told me I was gaining too much in pregnancy. Even when my mother told me I was gaining too much over honeymoon dinners. Even when I ‘brisk walked’ all around town till my waist showed again. The suit (almost) always fit.

See, it looks pretty simple, but it’s made of the marvelous fabric called knit. As the female body goes through the miraculous experience of bearing a child, the body stretches. So did the suit. As my body was bouncing back after the babies, so did the suit.

But well, whom am I kidding. A mother’s body is never perfect. There are stretch marks and other imprints left by the child that once called your womb home. So is it with my suit.

When my friends and I went out to a tseduka event the other night, I didn’t spend too much time at the closet wondering what to wear. Besides, my shoes are black and best tichel has a matching border, so I was dressed and ready to go in no time.

I enjoy parties, for many reasons. One of which is food. Another which is the absolute confidence that I’ll walk out with the grand prize. But mostly it’s the catching-up factor. Sitting around and schmoozing about things we never thought we’d ever talk about.

I was having a good time, particularly enjoying someone’s pile of cheese that was meant to be a cheesecake, when an older woman tapped me on the shoulder. She was of a small frame and wore just a tichel.

“veibele” she whispers, sparing me the embarrassment from my friends. “Your neck is completely open.”

“Oh, thanks” I mutter, hoping she’ll go away fast. I know. One of my suit’s stretch marks is at the neck. All the knit got dragged down a little.

But she insisted. I wasn’t tsnuis. At an all female party she could not tolerate me going around with a neck. She wanted me to get a pin. Pulling down the shell from the back didn’t help. I must put in a safety pin.

So she searches her hem and asks around but nobody volunteers a pin. Until an idea strikes her. With all the loose knit I’ve got going, I might be hiding the treasure. And she was right. She kindly asked that I offer up the little silver thing that held together a bunch of fabric at the waist.

Me being myself, I didn’t decline. My party wasn’t ruined, but I got home almost blue in the face from lack of oxygen, and was dragging my skirt in both hands for or else it would’ve landed at my ankles.

Inside I felt anger stirring, as part of me wanted to open my mouth and give it to this frow for minding my business and making a scene. But the other side of me has been trying to respect that innocent attempt to do the right thing. I’m trying very hard to appreciate people that simply want to fix our little slips; a sign of hair that’s escaped the turban or a first button that’s been left open. They stop a conversation at its peak or 'humorously' point out that the pencil shoes you’re wearing look hideous (you yourself said it a few years ago…). They close your sweater if it fell to the sides or tug your skirt down a bit. The male guards shush in beth medrish when others shmooze or ask women to move over or stand up if they’re making themselves conspicuous. They’re just trying to help.

But should they?

57 comments:

your ok im ok said...

ahh sptizel, u always dredge up hurt, lol.
i was shopping one day, this woman came up to me, and said "di vaist vusara numen di machst dich??? or ur button is open, just letting u know in case u forgot. i said i didnt, i like it that way. lol.
oh, oh my shaved hair was stickin out!!!!! now what a freak of a guy will get turned on by that??? i wasnt up to goin to electrolisis, waxing, tweezing!!!! what a bunch of freaks.
well me not knowing how to defend myself felt and still feels like punching her in the face until she bleeds.
they are taught nothing but u keep track of your fellow being. it spells control harrasment, etc. u have a right to be angry.
btw a friend of mine told me, in satmer monroe, shweky, mbd, miami boys chior isnt alllowed. there's apparently, so the menhal says, a mid heaven/hell place where ppl who listen to bad music go, i cant believe the made up crap they tell these children.

cafe_28 said...

No, they shouldn't go around telling people what to do.

Those that feel are really disturbed by another person's open neck or short skirt or whatever, and are dying to let that person know, they don't have to stick around and wait till they put in that safety pin. A suggestion is enough.

YOIO, I always wondered who gave teachers the right to make up things just to scare kids. Once the kids get older and realize the BS they were told, all those years of hard work are gone in a second. Those kids lose all respect for the things they were taught, bec. if this was not true, who knows how many other things aren't?

your ok im ok said...

i lost all trust in what they have taught me. i even doubt god gave the torah, created man, for petes sake theres no proof no one knows. its all belief. i ask some, how do u know? they say it says in the torah. lol lol

Hoezentragerin said...

Shpizel,
Though I've never met you, I guess you must be a decent looking lady. Otherwise, Mrs. Peger wouldn't be so bothered by your neck.
Same with the pencil heels.
She's talking out of jealousy.
She'd love to wear them too.

Captain said...

Cafe- A lot of these teachers aren't creative enough to make up these things. This is what they've been taught and what they think is true.
Your ok- You've lost faith because you can't differentiate between halacha and chumra.
Hoezen- by pencil heels..do you mean cocaroach killers?

Begreatfull said...

while going through my divorce I recived a phone call from this anonymous rebbetzin who offered me some advice telling me that She heard that I'm going through a hard time and that I she feels it woudl be a big help if I go see this rabbi who can be a guide to me in this difficult times, you can use some rochniyos she says, its important to have a guide to help you get through this.

with a calm voice I say to her you know something your right I can always use rochneyas but I'm wondering if you would be so kind and also ask me if I have food on the table and money to pay my rent how about you make me out a check mail it in and then I will talk about rochniyos and sprituality,

she didn't know how to respond and soon ended the call, a few minutes go by the phone rings again she apologizes and says If I would have money I would give you a check, I said thank you I really appricaite it. since then she never called me

I say why only care about my neck showing? if you really care so much care enough to pay my bills too

It's All Good Now said...

There are two issues here - one being something that Captain wrote, that in the Chassidishe velt, the women are not taught the difference between Halachah and Chumrah/Minhag (because if they would be, the whole facade and deck of cards would come crashing down and Chassidus would look very different than it does. While that may not be a bad thing, it certainly is a scary to thing to the self appointed keepers of the proverbial gate.) The second issue is that tznius is really more the spirit of the law, as opposed to the actual letter of the law. Tznius is a feeling that goes beyond anything prescribed in the Shulchan Aruch. As such, I can understand why it would bother someone when she/he feels that a fellow Yid is acting/dressing in a not-tznius way. If the person is acting out of genuine concern for my neshumah, then I give them a lot of credit for taking the stand that they feel is right. Because generally speaking, it is not a comfortable thing to tell someone that they are dressing in a way that is not so oysgehalten. The genuine mussar givers know that what they are doing is unpopular, but yet they are doing it anyway. For these people I have the utmost respect, even if I don't take their advice. It's the fakers, the ones who are on the constant lookout, the ones who are driven by perversion and jealousy, those are the ones who give all the others a bad name. Unfortunately, the fakers outnumber the genuine ones. All this reminds me of an incident I had with one of my relatives. I came into her house once to wish her a Git Yom Tov, and she took one look at the length of my skirt (or, in her opinion, the LACK of length) and she said, "Shayfeleh, dee darfst gedeynken nuch veym dee heyst in dee darfst zeech oonteen andersh" She is one of those holier-than-thou types, and she is a faker all the way. So I very sweetly answered her, "Mime, oyb s'badert deer azoy shtark, hub in zin mahn neshumah vehn dee zugst dahn Tehillim faren toog." I gave her a saccharine smile, bade her farewell, and marched out the door.

Lakewood Venter said...

Pathetic! This is exactly what is wrong with the "frum " world! Why can't anybody mind their own @#$%! business anymore?!

nuch a chosid said...

I can't belive this, now this blog too has turned into another self-hating/chozer b'shalo/unchosen people venting place??

I liked the way "It's all good now" put this issue in perspective.

there are 3 points here

1) not making a difference between halocha and chumra, this is usually the case in everything we do according to the frum-ultra orthodox and even more so with the chasidish lifestyle.
we don't eat machine matzos, it may be ok according to halocha, Chasidim wear full beard and payos, only wear dark heimish style suits, woman shave their hair, etc. and so many more other details that are not halocha but chumra and minhagim, so I don't find it that wrong, its only after u start to "glitch just a bissel" that all of sudden u wanne know what's the halocha and what's the chumra.

2) is it right or wrong to walk over to some one and mix in their business??
There is a mitzvah in the torah of "הוכח תוכיח את עמיתך" klal yisroal are arevim zeh l'zeh, and when u see a fellow Jew doing something against halocha, you have a chiyuv to tell them in a nice way, but not to embarrass them ולא תשא עליו חטא

3) are some of those musser-tellers fakers?

they may be, there sure are many bitter phony people who are jealous that they can't dress in a more stylish manner, and they get their fix from going around and telling others what to do or not do. but some meeb it very serious, and you know better then them if they are right....

your ok im ok said...

the matter isnt if i can deferenciate or not. the point is i lost my faith due to a combination of abuse and faulty way of relaying religion. they definetely need to change the system.

begreatful: thats a great response ill use from now on. lol funny and to the point as usual. lol

im so beyond looking at the whole halacha/chumra thing. i dont believe, period.

i dislike when ppl say, she'll come back one day, come back where? this is not the only way to live

Ex-Blogger said...

Nuch"
That Pusik of Hoicaiech Tochiach, is the reason they should refrain of such.

Hoicaiech-yourself, and then and only then, Tochiach.

Not my Torah , but of the Chazal.

In other words , someone who is preaching another, is saying loudly, I am done with myself thats why i am authorized to mussar you.

I honestly doubt that there are that many at this level.

Ex-Blogger said...

Nuch"
That Pusik of Hoicaiech Tochiach, is the reason they should refrain of such.

Hoicaiech-yourself, and then and only then, Tochiach.

Not my Torah , but of the Chazal.

In other words , someone who is preaching another, is saying loudly, I am done with myself thats why i am authorized to mussar you.

I honestly doubt that there are that many at this level.

Ex-Blogger said...

Nuch !!!
That Pusik of Hoicaiech Tochiach, is the reason they should refrain of such.

Hoicaiech-yourself, and then and only then, Tochiach.

Not my Torah , but of the Chazal.

In other words , someone who is preaching another, is saying loudly, I am done with myself thats why i am authorized to mussar you.

I honestly doubt that there are that many at this level.

nuch a chosid said...

check out http://www.tsofar.com/zofar/mashtap/show.asp?id=1095

(yiddish)

Anonymous said...

ex, we heard you once

Hoezentragerin said...

the point is I lost my faith due to a combination of abuse and faulty way of relaying religion. they definitely need to change the system.
im so beyond looking at the whole halacha/chumra thing. i dont believe, period.


UOK,
Forgive my klutz kashis here, but what has believing or disbelieving got to do with abuse or faulty relaying of religion?
Suppose I told you today is Sunday and you believe me.
Now, I beat you up bad and still tell you today is Sunday, do you chose not to believe me now?
I would understand why you would chose not to care what day of the week it is, but not to believe?

Read your own words, UOK,
'faulty way of relaying religion"
That is not the same as saying, 'faulty religion", is it?

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Nuch,

The question is, what actions warrant us to stand up and missur someone? Do I have to stop a woman from another community and tell her that her six year old is wearing short sleeves? Do I have to stop a woman from my community and tell her that what she’s wearing is not according to my chimrah?

Can’t we acknowledge that although ‘I might be observing this chumra’ my neighbor is a little more lenient?

I would love to believe that Hoezen is right and the musser ladies are just jealous. Ah, it would’ve been a nice compliment. But in truth these extremists are so himlish they don’t even see if you look good or not. They only see the not tsnuis part. The problem is, that being criticized by a person you don’t know is very upsetting. Even very good, frum people get angry when a stranger walks up to them and mussers them. I think the result of such critic is mostly not positive.

Anonymous said...

Shpitzle, sometimes when a stranger tells you something, you can accept it as coming from a genuine source because he/she doesn't know you and thus probably does not have an ulterior motive. Whereas if a family memeber tells you something, he/she might have a deeper agenda (i.e. s'past nisht fahr INZER mishpucha/vus veht d'gahs/d'sheel/d'neighbor zuggen). And, in all honesty, AND I SPEAK FOR MYSELF HERE, when someone tells me something, I am usually the best judge if that person is justified or not. Regardless of whether or not he/she has an agenda.

shaitel said...

lets face it, no one likes criticism! We dont like being told we are doing something wrong. and there is no real nice way to say it. I was a new mother, and went to shul on rosh hashana, because how could i not go to shul on rosh hashana? my baby came along, he was in a good mood, talking to himself. I thought all was well - he is being good. A woman came over to me and told me off - not to bring the baby to shul, his noise is annoying people. I was extremely hurt. (he was being so cute) in reality, though, she was right! It took me a while to see that she was right - a baby doesnt belong in shul and if you have a baby, you need to be home. It was very unpleasant to be told off like that. But was she wrong? I dont really think so, now.

shaitel said...

I do think that chassidim are very narrow minded - they cant accept the fact that not everyone has their chumras - they really dont differentiate bet. chumra and halacha - probably are not taught that, purposely, by their education system.
I grew up in a fully chasiddish neighborhood, my family was the only non-chasidim. Many times I was told by the other kids that we are goyim, because we made an early shabbos! or because we say baruch, not bureech. seriously! Their parents did not correct them-they were happy to hear their kids talking like that probably because in their minds, it meant that their children will not slide and become like us if they think we are goyim.
That is a major difference bet. us "Yeshivisha" people. my kids know that even though a jew may look different from us, he is still a jew, with different minhagim. I would never accept them calling another jew "a goy". and we are also more accepting of chassidim than they are of us.

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Shaitel, I think that’s what’s hardest with the women that tell you something. Part of you agrees that she is right but part of you is so angry for being criticized that you try to convince yourself that she is wrong. At some point it stops being about if she’s right or not, it becomes a personal insult. On the other hand, people are often a little selfish. They give you the stare while you’re a little lost with the little one in the store/shul, making you feel like the most imbalimperta baal habasta. In truth, these bigshot women also had their time where the kids acted up. If they’d slip into your shoes for a second they would think twice before sending you home.

It’s All Good, well, most of the time those that musser you just voice what you know others are thinking. If you already know that you’re doing something that is frowned upon by some, hearing it out loud will probably not make you change your mind.

Anonymous said...

Does anybody wonder why we take it less to heart when someone tells us, "Your hem is down/you have a run in your pantyhose, etc..." than when the same person would tell us "Your hem is not down enough/your pantyhose is not thick enough".

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Hmm. Good question.

heimishinbrooklyn said...

Because there are very few that actually care. All they want is to show that they're frum and better than you. Will they stick around untill you fix your hem or buy a knee-hi over your tights? NO! "Men Ken Brechen fin zei" You can say what you have to say and move on. You did yours and its not up to you to make sure they do theirs!

socialworker/frustrated mom said...

I would be very annoyed if someone did that to me. It's one thing if they said it once I could live with that. They kept going on that was terrible. You handled it well.

Ex-Blogger said...

Nuch !!!
That Pusik of Hoicaiech Tochiach, is the reason they should refrain of such.

Hoicaiech-yourself, and then and only then, Tochiach.

Not my Torah , but of the Chazal.

In other words , someone who is preaching another, is saying loudly, I am done with myself thats why i am authorized to mussar you.

I honestly doubt that there are that many at this level.

Look at yourself first said...

"God's Gaurds"

Yingerman gets busted to wife in public

A Yingerman that has a bit of a drinking problem was exposed to his wife in public about it by a friend of his. The Yingerman blew his top when he found out that another Yingerman that he would drink with, went down to his wife's workplace and informed her in front of her office mates that her husband had a drinking problem and that he had to be stopped right away. The woman was overcome with embarrassment for having this sensitive issue about her husband brought up at her workplace in front of other people. The friend however neglected to mention at the office his own drinking problem. I guess that Yingerman won't be going to any Kideishim for a long time.

look at yourself first said...

UOK

An open letter from a runaway child

Someone wrote how today things are different then thirty, twenty or even ten years ago. Today there are many fine teachers who are gold. it's true. But "It starts at Home, stupid" is the worst mistake we New Agers have come to believe. I hated my parents bitterly for the years of torture I grew up with, and till today in my thirties haven't yet got myself all together. At about shidduch age I decided it is about time, I picked my self up and left. For two years I was seething with hate, I haven't spoken to my parents. I swore in anger not to attend even their funerals. My drive to erase the past was successful. But along with that past went not only my father and mother but my siblings, my grandparents and my 5 year old brother. In the end, today, I look back at the few years I have missed. Then I got a call that my grandfather passed away. Then I checked my voicemail which I haven't checked in ages. It was my grandmother; she was begging me to come say goodbye to Zeidy in his last breaths. I couldn't believe it. Not that my zaidy died but what I'd done. All of the endless days at the hospital, they waited and waited. They were begging me to return, just to see them, just to say goodbye. And I dident come. In my anger I found a new identity and did not know them. He died knowing that His First Grandson dident want to see him. It is now too late. The guilt tears me apart. Then my father. The image of the monster I grew up with is now gone. When I see my father I see an older man, who had a bitter life. I see a tremendous pain in him, ever since I left him. It took some time for me to catch on to it, maybe two years, to realize the suffering that I had caused in him. There is no pain in the world like the pain of loosing a child. He loosed his son. His Shobbos table Empty. His life was empty. then the seder table, spring, summer, winter, and a nother year, he waited. His son is gone. A friend of mine gave him a picture of me. I was told that my father cried when he saw it, and couldn't depart from the photo "It's my son... it's my son... I wonder how he is, I wonder where he lives, I whish I could see him..." It then hit me. Today I talk to my father. I love him deeply. I long for him. But no matter how much I try to show it to him, to spend time with him, just to walk to shul on shabbos with him... there is still a wall that remains. He is afraid of me. As much as he yeans for his son the pain is too much for him to bear, and would rather spend time with his family, the family he has, not the family of a painful past. I'd do anything to repair the damage. There is nothing in the world that I hope and dream for. And looking back at the horrible abuse of a small child, you can quote me that it is nothing compared with, and nothing compares with the suffering of a father who looses his child. I'd go back to the dreaded childhood ten times just to ease the suffering, for just one moment, of a broken father.

As a teacher, I don't care, you can curse out the Rishaim rabeiim we had as a children. But as a child, and not yet a parent, I beg you all to think twice before chas visholom saying anything against a parent. Trust me, I went through it all, I know the torture. When others would tell me that I should take responsobility for myself and stop blaming, I'd curse them out and say that they have no idea what abuse is, and if you weren't abused then don't talk. Well, it took a heavy two years of my life to come to the realization that the Torah knew better when it listed a Kabed Es Avicha and omitted "The Eleventh Commandment" (Respect your children). Don't learn the hard way as I did. Bite your lip; hold it in, for years if necessary. But never, ever make the mistake and say something bad to a parent. This is what I have learned in my life, and it is what I have to teach to others. No matter what they did to you, at the end of the day it is they who need you. Before you know it they will be bedridden in an old age home, and you are the only thing they have in the whole world. You have the responsibility to be there for them. You must. No matter how much it hurts.

Anonymous said...

www.chusidstud.blogspot.com-was busted on chaptzem blog with fake pictures of a muscular goy claiming it is himself.

Anonymous said...

Please stop posting Chapzem crap on this blog!

JayKay said...

Some phoney dogooders started posting 'guilt' rantings here

feh!

Still I'm kind of torn between my 'free speech' fanaticism and the idea that everything has its time and place.

I think its kind of unfair to "shpitzel" to turn this blog into a debating society if there is a God or... is religion good or bad

Even if I have the deepest sympathy to those who have suffered abuse, sexual and otherwise. Still I think -maybe I'm not sensitive enough- that if you reject completely the chasidish way of life and come here with that agenda you are being kind of unfair to the reader and the author.

Imagine somebody starting a blog about a sport i.e. boxing. where one can read about the history of certain boxer their style of 'punching' latest news

Then have the site flooded by those who don't like boxing those who think boxing is cruel and should be banned.

Or imagine a chef who opens a blog about meat dishes and then have endless comments on why meat eating is immoral.

Is it too much to expect to have a site where one can blog 'truthfully', with a great writing style like 'shpitzel' with her sharp observations about social aspects of living the chasidish life, withouth having basically the same bloggers [who hang out in 'all' haimishe] ranting and berating the chasidish life in all its aspects.

I understand their right and one should never belittle their real pain. So here I am without any real answer. I just think its a little unfair to those who kind of like a blog from 'within', and who it feels like being a shpitzel mom, witwithouthout the need to justify her exsistenexistencece.

your ok im ok said...

look at yourself,
i hear ya. i agree with u. i think ur in a different situation than me. my parents want me but only if im a certain way. i cant do that at this time.

everything has its time and place. anger, rage, theres a process of healing, only then can i go back to my parents without any expectations, and try to have a non emotional relationship.

as of now, everytime i visit them i come home broken, feel abused, full of rage, because they still emotionaly and verbally abuse me. i dont see why any person hasto put themselves in such a position.

i dont consider them my parents, parents are nurturers, ppl who love u unconditionaly. if i get hurt when im around them thus not being able to lead a normal healthy life, im jepordizing, my husband and kids, and me.

your ok im ok said...

shpitzel i hope u dont mind me posting here. i do opologise if i went off topic. anyone who wants to rant n rave can do in on my blog. i have no agenda but to express my feelings.

JayKay said...

"your ok.."

exactly you have no agenda and you want to express your feelings but I'm kind of disappointed that you didn't address my concern about 'fairness' to others who read this blog.

If you feel that you got the impression that this blog is about the merits of of chasidic life, and that any blog that talks about chasidic life has to be flooded with these kind of postings,then I apologize sincerely to you and others.

But I got the impression that this is not then intention of the author shpitzel I'll let her decide.

your ok im ok said...

jaykay u might be very right. id like to hear what shpitzel has to say. i opoligise

Anonymous said...

The word is "apologize"

Anonymous said...

Jaykay is wrong if it is not his/her blog then it is not his/her business.

Leible said...

shpitzel

you got me thinking about the boys going with the black plastic eyeglasses thinking that this is called frum but anyone out of the dalet amis of willi or boro park knows that this is the staple of modern fashon or even worse a gay thing. it whould be interesting to know if any of our young buchirim get hit on by the artisten.

to all the bitter people that do not fit the mold they were born in, hay make something out of yourself just becoming a bum or a tramp says little about your accomplishments and more that your parents were right.
I was lately by some weddings were i saw chasidishe buchirim with the tzitzes in droisen one playing a drum (real cool player if i may add) a pianist, and a trupet and this are only some i think there is a conducter also a chasidishe bucher/yungerman alenfalse( a jewish jargen there for my brethern)these are kids that did not fit the yeshiva mold or actually are still learning certain sedurim but there passion to be something got them to be stars and will eventually be something there families and they themselves will always be proud

leible said...

lipa - a tzerik geblibene kind - a world bachen-singer super star

Yanhev yosef shtark -a chinyokishe willi boy from a chinyokishe frum ( i think his father is a malamed in tv) super and famous chazen

helfgot - i tzifloigene tzibushete gere shlobe, is to date billed as the greatest chazen currently

all of them are still proud that they are chasidish and they make a kiddish hashem, when it would be easier for them to cut there beard and payious or dress up to the moderene and goyishe velt

shaitel said...

last anonymous - what a disgusting thing you just did!
that was lashon hara in the worst way, you are ruining people's reputation just by the click of your mouse! you are a pig!!! Even though you hide behind your anonymous label on line, god knows exactly who you are to give you what you deserve.
You obviously cant fargin to see someone be successful so you have to knock them.
(that is why the chofetz chaim said not to speak good about people either - because then some loser like you will come along and say, oh no, he is bad...)
shpitzel, you have an obligation to remove that comment. please do the right thing

JayKay said...

I agree with every word shaitel said.

ארור מכה רעהו בסתר

was meant for u anon!

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Personally, I am content with living in the Chassidic community. I don’t deny the fact that to achieve happiness I divulge some forbidden liberties, but in the end of the day I’m open minded but still happy with the life the Chassidic community granted me. My blog was not intended for a defense or offense of our system, rather to discuss the simplistic issues of daily life. I do feel that by taking the focus off the fundamental rules, and discussing real life topics we ultimately shed a positive light on our people. (Of course, that’s not to be confused with shedding a positive light on our system…)

Being that we’re all here on the ‘Assura’ internet, we cannot expect to gather a community of people like that of which we live in. Most people online are a little more advanced I shall say, or are completely frustrated with their experience. I welcome all comments, as everyone is entitled to an opinion based on their experience.

That said, I still prefer to keep the conversation simplistic, and like to avoid turning my blog in a therapy group. I do feel very much for those that have suffered, and I don’t deny that this system is just one size, and does NOT fit all. I think we should make an effort to be very understanding of such victims, as hopefully we will be able to make up for the lack of understanding they experienced in life.

nuch a chosid said...

shpitzle, well put! (like allways), i wish i could've express myself as well as you do.

p.s. that letter of a runaway child touched my heart.

Anonymous said...

Jaykay, are you jk from kj?
(sorry for going off the topic of the blog)

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Nuch - ditto. Painful story.

your ok im ok said...

what exactly does being chasidish mean?
the attitude?
the dress?
the way we celebrate with happines?

what culture im refering to is the very narrow road they lay out for ultra chasidim.

its great to see chasidim make something out of themselves. though most dont have a proper education.

u dont havto blend in todays culture, its mostly very dirty and low, although some are trying to shelter their kids from it. i wanna find a middle way. i dont wanna expose my kids so they think bout having sex at 13-14 as many of todays secular teens do. yet i want my children to grow up in an environment where theres room for questions, understanding. a love for their traditions and liniency with chumras.

Shpitzel: very nicely said.

Anonymous said...

There are the people that really hurt for the torah when they missur.(Although sometimes they have no idea that the things that hurt them have no connection to the torah.)
Then there are those who believe they are better jews than you are.
Like the ones that probably believe that Shpitzel does not deserve to wear one.
And then the ones that are farshemt with you, or could become by your actions. They usually are your relatives, friends, or neighbors.
And then the yentes,the bored, and of course the jealous.

looker said...

Shpitzel, are you satmar? Tonight by the Bikur Cholim party, I'll be looking around for a shpitzel with a knit black suit that's a bit low around the neck.

Maybe you're even a classmate of mine. What do I know??

David_on_the_Lake said...

Itsallgoodnows comment was right on the mark.
Chassidishe world doesnt know the difference between halacha and chumrah...
There are some things that are black and white..and should be criticized...then theres the grey ..where if you want to be machmir..beautiful..but dont chastize me..
Don't equate this with talking in shul during davening which deserves to be shusshed up...

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

David, Great point.
How do we know what’s a chimra and what’s a halacha if we are not taught yiddishkeit in levels? Every sin is put in black and off limits. Period. Unfortunately, the problems start when we start glitching, as Nuch said.

As for shushing in shul, again, my question is, should you mussur if you won’t help by doing it?

Klueless – What a breakdown! Well, I don’t like to hear it from either of them, but I least like the ones that are so-called farsheymt with me, for little materialistic things.

Looker – Look out!

nuch a chosid said...

כשם שיש מצווה לומר דברים שסופם להשמע כך יש מצוה לא לומר דברים שסופם לא להישמע


I found a nice article on the issue of תוכחה in (hebrew) loshen kodesh for the melimod and mlomedes among us

http://www.rabi.co.il/web/default.asp?id=382

Anonymous said...

From my experience always the woman that makes the comment is the ugliest woman in party. They are so obsessed with tznius while its not even nogeah to them, because no one will ever look at them. Many times it comes from jealousy, more them from caring about tznius.

Semgirl said...

You are hysterically funny like always Shpitzel.. Excellent..

This reminds me of the time I used the Mikva in a particular Chasidish enclave, I won't mention. First the mikva lady runs her hand thru my hair, and keeps lamenting over and over, 'why do you need all this hair for '. Then she precedes to show her total and complete ignorance of H. Shmiras HaLoshon, as she is telling me story after story..

Leible said...

shpitel

when you start your post from the get-go that men are from mars and girls are from...( beis ruchal?) it really says to the men reading bud out dude, get it! you do not understand ok!!!
but if you read the comments its full of yoily's and getzels and that made me think Y?

Crossdresser

I think that explains it, crossdressing is on the rise in america more and more people are reversing the roles in dress and act. now is it a fetish or mental i do not know but it explains a little why men mingle in women's issues and woman love to shtip there two cents in what goes on between the men

i guess i did find something to add in this anti- man ( for yidene yente spitzel and shprintze in the viiber-sheel only)topic

did i just crossdress????

leible said...

sorry this post was misplaced

frum in progress said...

When i was first married, after my wife got pregnant she could no longer enter our stuffy basement apartment without throwing up.So we slept by the inlaws for months while I went back and forth to get the clothes and things. The landlord of the place calls me up and asks me point blank if I'm having marital problems.I was floored. I said absolutely not and what business was it of hers with the big assumptions.(can't she first assume I'm the evil twin or something). She says. people who know whats going on in other peoples homes know that this is a common problem.I let her have it. Things like this, people get off on monitoring/controlling/fixing other people. That is one of the most powerfull trips that frumkeit gives us.Its not even jealousy, its just power over people. The gemoroh says that most people dont know how to give mussar. I would assume that you should be a friend of someone and casually give a criticism as a friend. Dont think that leaves Mrs.pin in the postition to be pinning.My landlord couldve wanted to borrow something or actually at least faked an interest in our life before asking about marital problems.("yes Mrs.**, were having problems, it seems my wife didnt take to kind to me punching some women who insulted our relationship" should have been my response but the good ones always get away, don't they?

used to be frum said...

frum in progress:

"That is one of the most powerfull trips that frumkeit gives us.Its not even jealousy, its just power over people"

I was frum for 25 years - when I finally figured out what you are saying, I 'left the fold' - G-d never intended any such thing - everyone can pile on as many arguments as they like - we already know that Reb Meir was m'taheir a sheretz with 50 t'amim....