Sunday, October 28, 2007

Reporting to the Highness of Blogdome

Oh, yeah, this is going very well. Very, very well. I've just returned for a few seconds to visit my new highly-successful, completely absent, dried-up blog in hiding that went into hibernation 15 seconds after its big-bang re-creation. This looks like it's going to be really big one day. I'll say.

I can't believe I restored my full Internet connection so I can give my laptop battery some rest. What from, Solitaire? What for, a few minutes on Yahoo Answers? Meanwhile, I've missed out on virtually nothing in our little chassidishe blog community, which, while I would've ranted furiously if I did, I'm ranting furiously that I didn't. Something has become so secular, educational and formal about the online blog community for -ironically- the very nisht secular, that the real issues have graduated and been filed away at Hasidic Rebel's archives.

But not surprisingly, XGH developments continued to come fast, insensitive to me huffing and puffing and trying to follow along, so I missed some pivotal events. He's declared the end of his blog, of all things! I'm not sure if that's a routine posting where he tries to grab control of the wheel of his life, before he gets swapped away by the claws of fame and blogging-adrenaline that drives him. Or if it's something that after a period of shiva, I'll realize is really gone. I hope it's just a routine pause when the kneeling fans are supposed kiss his toes. That I can live with.

There was so much to post here, so few to read. Not surprisingly, nothing was said. It's a shame there have been significant events in my life in particular and our lives in general that weren't vented. That's something to vent about, over and over again.

Oy. Like I said, this is going really well.


Sunday, October 14, 2007

KJ Wins a Loss – Again

Click: Record Online

The court ruled on Friday in favor of Orange County, accepting the county's request that KJ continue to study the environmental impact of its growth before the village can build the controversial water pipeline.

It’s becoming a predictable pattern. KJ’s development gets blocked by the neighbors, the battle gets dragged to court, the court rules in favor of their ‘enemies’, and the Village follows the ruling with a press conference where the Clerk, Mr. Szegedin, declares that the verdict is actually no problemo because he can still find a way to cut the line and avoid the full required procedure.

Says Szegedin “"The level of scrutiny and level of oversight is totally limited to the Village of Kiryas Joel trustees. There is no other forum for anybody to raise any other issues."

You can hear him laugh all the way through the paper structures we call home in this primitive place; the echo of his own high-five, as he declares that he once again outsmarted the system. After years of fighting against redoing the environmental review, he is now more than happy to do it! He’ll just brush it off in a few short weeks and get over with it. The results of the review are not even a matter in the equation. He just needed a way to get passed this hurdle and he has found it by approving the revised review only with his own board of trustees. Ha-ha to him! S'eiz ozoy git!

I wish the village officials would wake up and realize that legal requirements are not little pesky obstacles to move aside but important issues that need to be treated seriously. THe administration has to start reading into the requirements themselves, not the messengers that impose it. I’m sick of the the-world-is-my-enemy attitude we derive from the concept ‘eisuv sonah liyakov’. We are excusing ourselves from handling our mistakes by shifting the blame to the broad shoulders of anti-semitism. KJ is a delusional town shooting
in self defense at unarmed neighbors. Wake up Mr. Szegedin and stop the bloody murder!

There's not much hope for a change so long as the Weider administration continues with their self-destructive strategies. My hope is that the voters will raise the bar by expecting more of its politicians and elect according to performance. KJ should know better when it comes to getting the most from its government.


Wednesday, October 10, 2007


Click: BHB, Golden Handcuffs

Baal HaBoss returned. Oh, well, oh, well. I actually wasn't an active follower but I predicted he would return. (Just when I removed his link!) An on again/off again relationship usually means an intensity that gets too much. He seems to love standing center stage until the pressure mounts high enough. He suddenly yearns to get away from it all it all, then that nasty craving for attention wakes again. A lot like me actually.

His analogy is obvious and overused. The post is refreshing nonetheless. He seems to feel like he has to explain his ‘staying’ instead of ‘leaving’. That's entirely self explanatory to anyone on the inside and unexplainable to anyone from the outside. If you want to write something original and moving dwell on the nimshul and the struggle. Don’t apologize.

It's Time for Coats!

The fall showed its true colors today for the first time in the season. The summer hovered long enough to gift us with an unusually warm September. Now I’m enjoying the northeast change of color. The trees in bright shades of reds and yellows, the fences are lined with bundles of windswept leaves, the wet sidewalks keep the browned remains clinging to its cracks. A crisp air completed the setting for this atypical six grade descriptive writing composition to enthusiastically spin adjectives in my head.

Romantic appreciations aside, there’s a wicked laugh to all this. All through the yomim tovim the weather shed our layers. We all dragged the cotton clothing back out. On Simchas Torah babies were dressed in short built ups and little bubbles except for the few that couldn’t resist showing off the new velour. All that unusual heat - right after a whole shipment of hechshered coats were marketed to the masses. Oy, sweet irony!

Some of my family members have the coat hanging in their closets, probably relying on it like a watchdog against the year's evil. The design is just a better version of the burka. If you think about it, burkas are really bold mini dresses. This, in bland navy, wide, long, big plastic buttons and sans lining must really be the most celebrated invention in the God's chambers. I'm sure he's very pleased given that Erev Yom Kippur He hassled His people to personally send a pre-recorded phone messager to my home to remind me to be brave and not let the sweltering heat stop me from wearing it. (It did).

At the shofer blozen rush Rosh Hashana the woman pressed next to me wore it, The Zimmer Mantel, giving me an up close feel of how real it is. I suppose until then the concept seemed too radical to be seen as more than an exaggeration. This woman had about eight little children around her, unless I saw double, which I sometimes do. Giving birth so many times hasn't taken kindly to her shape. She was making small talk over the deafening noise while I was clumsily shushing my own honking horn. With the coat folded over her arm, she explained that her neighbor called before yom tov and asked that she too wear it. There was a tiny note of apology, maybe defensiveness in her voice. “I thought” she said “it’s Rosh Hashana, you know? It’s a zechus”.

I felt sorry for her honest attempt because I sincerely believe it's in vain. I heard an upset inner protest of ‘why?!'. Why, why, oh why? Why would this garment be manufactured, why would this garment be bought and worn? Why would this be an act of moral bravado?

I know the answers. I know, very well, the logical formula behind this enterprise. I'm fully aware that modesty has been deduced to a tribute to the almighty, not a female social identity. I know that this religious sacrifice is about offering up one's feminine desires to be attractive. I know why a woman with a weight issue is recruited to hide behind a frock just as any. I know why this is not about the sum of one's appearance but rather why it's about this particular cloth.

I know it. At times, these answers seem to make sense - to some degree. But when I'm alone with my thoughts it all seems like a confusing calculation that doesn't match up sensibly.

As for how the garment took with the general crowd, there's much doubt that this will be more than a new year resolution . The women around the younger age are snubbing it. They don't seem to realize that the radical few determine the middle, and if the radical are extremist enough the middle is right where most people want it. Regardless, the concept is going too far too fast. I predict this will be another righteous fad that'll just melt away with time. Think sunny.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Talking Points

Following are some subjects that are yet to be transformed into posts. That is, if my interest doesn't sizzle. Knowing myself I'm afraid the echo I'll get back after publishing a post will dampen my enthusiasm into oblivion. Well, anyway, here goes:

-Mothering and Indoctrinating

-Love Thy Fundie Husband

-Kissing Blogs and No Queens

-The Mystery of (Complete Stupidity and) Brainwash

-The Grazing Herd: Chassidic Black Sheeps Online

-Cowardism Chizzuk for the Critic. A how to guide for the sensitive soul like myself.

-Family Ties, Baggage

-Toby Grunburg and The Brave Ruffle (a true story)

-Both worlds. The Second One Found & How it's a Death Sentence.

-Alter Egoless: Being a Blogger.

-The Shtible. Why I'm Not a Learner.

-What makes Us Tick? Rebuffing the Stereotype

-Culture and beliefs/Culture or beliefs. Seperatable

-Conformity; Identity Theft.

-Political Anxiety. The Delusional Donkey that Thought She's an Elephant

-Skeptic Recruit, Sir. 100 Steps (and 4000 books) to Becoming a Skeptic Member.


Period. Beginning of Sentence.

I have finally gathered the courage to close this blog. Yes, it naturally withered and died a long time ago, but I just couldn’t let go. Maybe it’s my inability to look back. I think I’m more comfortable pretending this site of mine never was rather than facing it for closure. Or maybe it’s those fifteen minutes of fame I’m clinging to. Either way, it was an extremely rewarding experience, eh, at the cost of some personal humiliation. It’s time to get over that.

Blogging changed my life in too many ways to number. That’s cliché of course, but it is still an amazing truth. The fact that something as powerful as the web community is available to a people as powerless as the Chassidic community is all the more extraordinary with every next saucer-eyed chassid’l that declares that it changed a life.

With the transformations in me came a rush of many thoughts that begged to be given voice. I’m thinking/hoping to do some routine posting on this blog to expresss them. Routine, spontaneous, or just the piping up of a long forgotten pitch; whatever. What’s important here is that I have a lot to say and the urge to do so. This won’t be about entertaining others in an act long not funny. Oh, I’ve done my gig, I’ve learnt my lesson. This also won’t be about conforming to what people want to hear (or, unfortunately, how they want me to spell it). I will just relay my thoughts, especially those I feel passionate about.

I might, as I go along, invite a friend or two I’ve had the pleasure to know anonymously, maybe even a husband I got to know anonymously. Not immediately though. When I prioritize I see blog commentary as the lesser important between that and honest writing --- not because I don't love zaftigeh shmoos; I do. Rather because I'll probably end up forming my writing through comment influence instead expressing my individual thoughts. That would defeat the purpose entirely. I wish to create a place where I can opine about anything and everything that might affect a stray apple, without holding back. I do, really, love the written word when it articulates a raw thought. I should add that it is not my intent tobe frisked for a gender ever again. Neither would I have my pockets be felt up for ID. This would be about the topic of the discussion, not the members thereof. If such a place can only be achieved with no more than one member, then that’s what it takes. A discussion of one member it’ll be. One member. That's a one whole member. Gather around everybody!

Well, let(s) chear up. Here, to new beginnings!