Thursday, April 12, 2007

Chassidic Anthem

Sung by Shtrimpkind


Yo!
You out there
Watchadoin today,
Gochaself some rainin’
Gochaself some blues...


You can't hear no music
To get your spirits up
Cuz it's time o’ year
The sfirah, man
And the boombox
Is banned.

So turn up the volume
Listen to me rap
All'll get bettah
In a big white snap.

Mah children and their daddy
We’re makin music sway
We’re all dancin’ and swingin’
Our bodies away
My little baby gurl
Is bangin’ the drums
While my big ol’ man
Pointin’ pinky and thumbs.

Yo you out there
Watchadoin today
Aint nobody singin
Duddi’s or Lipa’s beats
Aint nobody listenin’
To Yom-Tov-Erlich’s leids
Can't nobody play
No music today.
And with the spring away
The whole crazy delay
The sun gone astray
We need some spirit on dis day!

Ah-Yeah!!

Pop. Pop, O!

Tap, tap, tap.

Hip-hip, clunk.

So baby,
Don’t you be shy now
And all kind of crap
Turn up the volume
Listen to me rap
Shake and clap.


Yeah, me teachas in their kupshtik
Duster and it all
Gonna be real proud
Of this bangin’ doll!

Hallo, gleibmir,
Eech ken tsee zingin
Vee dee faryirige shney
Ubber eech trey
Yo, seiz a mechey
Shukkel in drey!
Ahmmm.
Yeahhh, gits a shrey!

Snap.

23 comments:

Semgirl said...

Everytime I think I have seen the extent of your creativity you go and outdo yourself.

You are really very talented, its really a shame to just use it for blogging.

Anonymous said...

I wanna sing along but guess what.. the rain stoped so I am running out ill leave you singing alone sorry!!!

Anonymous said...

I wanna sing along but guess what.. the rain stoped so I am running out ill leave you singing alone sorry!!!

Chananiah Yom Tov Lipa said...

A Shayne Gram!

I should have hired you for my mitzveh tensle.

In case any record labels contact you after this post, you may need an agent. FYI I'm available.
(Proceeds will go toward the building fund of Beis Medrish D'Chassidei Shpitzle)

A Heimishe said...

You made my day! This is so freaking hilarious.. And you did a great job with your rap maybe you should sign together with Lipa.. you'll definitely have a crowd who's going to love you for your singing :)

nuch a chosid said...

I guess they should ban cheering in camp rav tov (or MBR or CBS) it can lead to the girls singing rap

isnt it there where u got the hang of it?

by the way, abisel Ungarisha Rap kent eer oich?

IGAN, IGAN.....

KeegiLicious said...

Im new to your blog and have to comment; very entertaining, you are a talented writer. Im almost convinced that I know you (I think thats a further testiment to your skill).Although, im totally positive that you are not a real shpitzle in real life and only play one on your blog, but I guess thats really your secret. Also, what the heck are those puffy things on the bottom of the page? Streimels?

Anonymous said...

Hilarious as usual.

and I am sorry if i was rude to you in the previous post.

keep it coming!!!

frumbabe said...

rolling on the floor laughing my brains out. you did it again! check out my new post.

Y said...

This post ROCKS!!!

Keep it up, you should really do this stuff for a living...

socialworker/frustrated mom said...

Hysterical, great rap, can't wait to have my daughter rap it.

S a m said...

Hey! Shpitz, Cool
You benda that rule,
It ain't no Stira
Rap Rapping in Sfira
But wouldn'cha rather hear
A downloaded Shiur
And bring Moshiach nearer!
Yep,
Bring Moshiach nearer!


All credits to Semgirl.
With apologies to Lubavitch.

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Semgirl - Well, well, it looks like you and SAM make a pretty marvelous band yourself.

Yo chick, we should do a tour, we should rock a band, yo. It will be so cool, It won’t be too kosher though….. (Colored lights roaming around us, while we shake and stir).

Anon 3:54 - The rain stopped? I’m not so sure. They’re predicting unusual and dangerous storms.

CYL - lol! Mitzvah tantz, eh? I wouldn’t want to upset the already too-sexually-expressive bride and groom dance by rapping to it. Who knows what X rated things could happen then! Maybe the couple would even move to the music something more than the shoulders! Gasp.

A Heimisha - Ya think?! Our society needs nothing more now than a man and woman rap team. Hmmm.

Nuch - Actually, there is no similarity between rap and cheers. Cheers stretch words out at its syllables while rap swallows words in rhythmic rhymes.

Cheer: “Ep.es.ah.choosit. clap. Clap-clap. Clap. Ep.es.ah.choosit. clap. Clap-clap. Clap.” Farshteist? Nothing like this, except for the sweat beads.

C’mon, take the stage. Sing some ungarisha bits. I know none.

KeegiLicious - First, welcome! I could tell you’re new just by your guess as to my dress-code. You know, if I weren’t a real shpitzle then I’d be a really bad actress at it, because almost anyone suspects that I’m not, at least at first. Not that I blame you, there is a stereotype that comes with the headgear and I know why. But I also know some extraordinary woman under that label such that I have yet to find in the sheitle-and-hat department.

The puffy on the bottom of my page? Lol. They’re part of the ocean/harbor themed template. Supposed to be sea shells, but I’d much rather call them shtreimlech!

Anon7:42 - No, not at all! I was just kidding you, and indicated that with a little emoticon wink. (So much tough skin I ought to be able to muster, right?).

Frumbabe & Y - Attan audience!

SW/FM - Oh, that’s something we can’t miss!

SAM - ROFL! Nice! A good toichendigeh piece.

SAM said...

To risk sounding “toichendik” again, Ugh!

Shpitzle, this post seems at odds with your last post that gut wrenching humour has to be got at the expense of others. My family can ROFL about things that are neither corny nor insulting, even though my parents were holocaust survivors and chasidic,so I don't know whats holding back yours!. Humour is such a great leveller, diffuser, and ice breaker; it is such a shame to save it for juvenile comedies, and you have proved this yourself many times throughout your blog.

Hoezentragerin said...

"Aint nobody singin
Duddi’s or Lipa’s beats"

Which duddi you referring to?
Don't tell me you're a Duddu Fisher fan too!

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

S A M - I do know that there are families that are seemingly always having fun and being themselves, but I don't know many. Most people I know take everything too seriously, and are very far from being able to laugh at themselves. However, I did realize that I'm probably the most-bothered person when it comes to this subject. Nobody else seems to mind it so much. I suppose I feel that way because for the last decade or more I've been a very, very, very boring person, contrary to my nature, because otherwise my own family would consider me 'not normal' and 'funny'. So I'm doin' some venting.

Hoezen - Honestly, I thought Duddi was a singer. Who's Fischer? I never heard of him. Is he good? (I really don't know much about music.)

Hoezentragerin said...

www.dudufisher.com/page-biography-1.asp - 12k -

Is he good?
too good

sam said...

Carry on venting, you are funny and original, but maybe you're right I've never thought about it, but my family could be considered wierd.
This morning I woke up Tsadikel and found an old teddy at the end of his bed, "Whose is this?" I asked, "I want to take it with me to yeshiva", Tsadikel answered. "Do the others take theirs as well?" I asked. "No," he said "but I still want to take it" "Thats fine with me", I said.
May sound normal except that tsadikel is engaged to be married and going back abroad to yeshiva this week!(Probably missing something and doesn't quite realise what!)
Anyway there are lots of other wierdos willing to be meshadech with us, they've been knocking on the doors for the next one the whole bein hazmanim.
So I'll advise "feel the fear and do it anyway", try being yourself and then see what happens.
Would advise you to take it slowly at first, though.

JewishBiFemme said...

I got connections with record labels in the hood. You will be signed up fast since this is the first Chassidic Anthem in history.

oy vie di toigst. Nu kol B'isha

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Hoezen - I never knew Les Miserabeles was ever performed, I thought it was just a book. Where do I listen to him? He sounds worth trying.

S A M - Well, I could say that your example of your son is really not an ordinary episode in our society. My parents would be mortified if I carried around a teddy at the 8. They want everyone to grow up fast.
See, I'm glad it's not the least affecting your shidduchim. When I was just a young kid I overheard my parents talk about a shidduch that got canceled after the mechetainsita frowned upon the bride-to-have-been's crooked seems. Seems this woman said "if her seems can't be straight, her house will look even worst". Ever since heard this scary story, I I've been a tights-freak. I'm actually holding my palm stockings accountable for my entire marriage. I guess that's why they say "my foot"...

You're right about your advice. Thanks.

JBF - Hey, welcome back! Well, hmmm, that must be a problem. Remember the days we had to get shushed because Mr. Rosenberg came into the shpeilhoze due to Kal B'eisha? Funny that there used to be a day (right after the yom suf) when women could make music.

sam said...

Nothing will surprise me anymore in the realm of shidduchim, but your seams story is frightening!
And the damage that parents can do by telling this to children is immeasurable! You could always try therapy, but then that who will make a shidduch with someone thats been in therapy?
Boruch Hash-m Tsadikel seems unharmed and has flown the nest this morning, leaving teddy and me here, bereft and unconsolable.

The ladies didn't sing after yam suf if I remember correctly, they were left to do the tapping on the tambourines to avoid the kol isha, so I think rapping would be quite appropriate in our times. Can anyway picture us getting away with it these days though even on our side of the mechitza.

(I'm new to this blogging and I enjoy exchanging views with someone as intersting and creative to yourself but I'm worried that I'm hogging this section, so just let me know when to shut up, or provide me with an alternative method of communication.)

It's All Good Now said...

Dacht zeech meer that this song is totally permissible in sfirah.

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

SAM - No, actually I love your comments, I enjoy the public discussion very much. When I don't have the time to reply, at least someone else can entertain me with an ongoing conversation. I love those.

IA GN - I like the song you're singing!