Sunday, October 29, 2006

The Fanceis

Satmar girl’s camp was one hell of a place. There’d be all of us Satmar from all over the place sleeping in large, hot bunks and spending every waking hour chairing and yelling for our team till-voice-do-us-part.

Although camp was a waste of time and energy, it taught me my first lesson of Chassidic society. And this lesson is still relevant today.

We’re all better then the next. The Williamsburg girls would pull at their sleeves, put on white tights and white sneakers and have a kick out of the way the Monroe girls were SO YUNCHY. The Borough Park girls considered themselves so smart, because they walked casually between people that the Williamsburg girls openly gawked at. When other mosdes would visit us there’d be busses full of ‘moderns’ that would make no secret of how hysterical the naïve, clueless Satmar ‘kids’ where.

And so it goes on. It’s the simple math. A chimreh less is a brain and a half more.

Things have changed within me, as I’ve learned to judge the human value by individuality, not heritage. But the world around me can not shake the feeling that you are better for being less restricted.

At the risk of bad-mouthing my own people, I must admit I think its time for the anti-semitism organization to take this matter in its hands. As they’re chasing George Allen out of the Senate for being an unenthusiastic recipient of the news of his Jewish origin we ourselves show no respect for the fundamental aspect of our sacred religion. That is, minhagim and mesorah.

How should the none-jew resist from mocking our traditions if we do the exact the same?


I’m especially unhappy about the sect I’ll dub ‘The Fancies’. These are people that drop SOME restrictions common in their society. They’d take this heroic act as an opportunity to find themselves ‘open minded’ and scientist worthy. They’d blow at their manicured nails and schlep at the stockings that get a run the first time it’s worn and feel like all others are SO schupid! Duh, they wear some mascara; they can now see the world a lot better!


Even those that are mature and open-minded find it hard to live the culture. I know some very brilliant people that understand that every culture has its quirks, and every culture is no more the NEB for ‘em, but still have a tattooed fear of acting it because they’ve been mocked for it as a child.


I’m not a doctor, but I think I’ve seen what’s in the human brain a couple of times. If you haven’t yet, let me tell you that it is very complex. No snowflake is the same. And if you are interested in escaping the block vote, learn more about being a unique person, not looking like one.

41 comments:

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

IMPORTANT NOTE: the commenting area was designed for you to post your thoughts related to the post. Interesting and diverse opinions are very welcome.
Comments that are not related to the post, are of inappropriate language, or a chillul hashem will be deleted. I also reserve the right to delete posts that have personal attacks in them.

Anonymous said...

You come across as a very bitter woman who wishes she can dress different. Stop mocking those who look or dress better then you.

Your attempt to convince us that shpitzles are more open minded then the rest is failing.

Anonymous said...

Are you saying all fancies have no brain? I bet in private you want to be part of that sect.

nuch a chosid said...

may sound silly, but Now I am confused, so you are against who

A. Those thinking they are fancy for breaking the rules.

B. Those following the rules for being nebby yunchy

C. Yourself, for being stuck in a life you didn't pick and chose, but were born into.

D. all of the above

E. none of the above

one minute you complain about the way you dress, and then you complain on those who bend the rules a little, those that felt the way you fell, but took the leap.

Kindly explain, what's your ideal version of the happy medium, and what you denounce.

PS you really got a lot cramped in yourself, that you are spilling the posts like matza-vaser, good for us here, i enjoy your views and the way you write, but i am afraid that you have kept too much stuff slammed inside for too long

Anonymous said...

PS you really got a lot cramped in yourself, that you are spilling the posts like matza-vaser, good for us here, i enjoy your views and the way you write, but i am afraid that you have kept too much stuff slammed inside for too long


I AGREE

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

A. Don't think blogging is my only source of release.

B. I'm not against dressing more or less modern. There is one thing called the nisoyin of your mesorah which I complain is hard.

C. There is another thing called the mesorah of OTHERS. My point is that we have to respect others mesorah, even if it makes no sense.

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

One more note to the first anon: I'm not saying shpitzles are one bit more open minded than others. Doesn't anyone read? I'm saying shpitzles can ALSO be open minded.

nuch a chosid said...

no comment on my ps ;) ?

nuch a chosid said...

SHPITZELE, YOUR PAGE TITLE SAYS IT BEST.

WHAT'S BENEETH THE HEADGEAR?!!

THAT'S WHAT MATTERS MOST1!!!!

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

PS? I'm blushing too.
Kidding...

What do you think, I was born last week when I discovered blogger? I have my own source of release. Yoelish is away to the Rebbish affair so I'm staying busy online. Just writing thoughts. People keep on calling me here names because of my frum origin, and consider themselves wiser for it, so I decided its time to explain to you all that being less restricted doesn't make you more smart.

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

I just love being misunderstood...

heimishinbrooklyn said...

Hey, You're not misunderstood, I understand you perfectly...
Appearance isn't everything. I have a very good friend with a Shpitzle and god knows she isn't narrowminded...

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Thank you!

Well - I'd have said my post didn't apply to any of those bloggers if they didn't 'radiate' the exact message I was trying to relate. That restrictions and appearances is not what makes one narrowminded.

I do want to emphasize the point that god didn't put a different type of human into the more restricted community, there are all kinds EVERYWHERE.

Anonymous said...

shpitz, I remember those days too well, don't remind me. The Monronians would wear the white tights and sneakers. They were the worst. Most of them even had bathing suits under their 'shvim kleider'.

Hoezentragerin said...

Shpizel, dei host a Shpiz :)
It's a sad reality yet nonetheless true. People do judge us by the way we look.
Though I try to be more open-minded than that, when asking for directions on the street, I too find myself addressing the woman with the tichel, in Yiddish.

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Anon: Monronians? That's too funny!
Regardless of who the Fancies are, they have no right to belittle others for their chimres.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRACTICE IT BUT YOU SHOULD AT LEAST RESPECT IT!

Hoezentragerin: I wouldn't blame myself for talking Yiddish to them, because to most it is actually the first language, but I would try to remind myself that behind a blank, clueless, yiddish speaking woman can lie a very big heart or a very sharp brain.

nuch a chosid said...

'addressing the woman with the tichel, in Yiddish'

how 'bout the Electrnics Store Sales rep offering only 220 volt electronics to the woman in a shpitzel, becasue he thinks she must be from meah sha'eurim

nuch a chosid said...

ps. you blog did pick up, wow, thats nice to see, you deserve it, keep up the good writing

we want more... more.. more..

SHEPITZEL...! SHEPITZEL...! SHEPITZEL...! SHEPITZEL...! SHEPITZEL...! SHEPITZEL...! SHEPITZEL...!

It's All Good Now said...

The insecurity we experience within ourselves is generally what causes us to ridicule others. For if we weren't insecure, we would embrace their differences as opportunities to broaden our own horizons.

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

What makes you say my blog picked up? As of now I just have you and a few other 'chasidim' that GET IT.
I enjoy the different opinions related to real time topics, topics you don't find discussed on the web.
There are those that are spending their entire life finding out what they were shielded from as a child and those just talking nonsense.
Aren't there any chassidim or exchassidim that simply enjoy life???

In your first comment you wrote: These beliefs are much life my own. I was wondering; how so?

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

The English language is very complicated but CHEIN can easily make CHEEN.

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Its all good now: Are we really that interested in broadening our horizons by more knowledge of our the frumer society?
I don't think so. Most of us would like to rather get a peak of the secular world.

nuch a chosid said...

In my first comment, i was reffering to what you wrote that those you find on the net are not the standard chasidim, and one can't judge us but info he finds in blogs of lost souls

Hoezentragerin said...

"I wouldn't blame myself for talking Yiddish to them, because to most it is actually the first language"

It's my first language too. And yet I would address most frum adults I bump into in English, but would instinctively resort back to Yiddish when conversing with a "shpizel lady."

heimishinbrooklyn said...

Hey shpitz, let your posts flow like 'matzah-vasser'. I want to hear more

Anonymous said...

I enjoy the different opinions related to real time topics, topics you don't find discussed on the web.
There are those that are spending their entire life finding out what they were shielded from as a child and those just talking nonsense.
Aren't there any chassidim or exchassidim that simply enjoy life???


In every post you mention that all other bloggers talk nonsense. you sure you're not part of them?
Eveyone blogs for different reasons at least respect your own people. I was wondering why you keep repeating yourself that you are the only chassidisha good blog out there?

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

What??? Why would I complain if "I were the only good chassidish blog out there"??? If for self promotion, that would even be beneficial.

I was complaining that there are no other blogs that tackle my simple interests, and that many commenters reflect that attitude.

Where's your blog?

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Begreatfull said...

שפיצעל די שרייבסט אזוי שיין איך האב גרויס האנה פון דיר, די ביזסט שארפ מיט א האפענעם קאפ ס'איז ממש א נחת צי ליינען
זאלסט דיך נישט דערשרעקען פון אפאר נארישע מענטשן וואס דרייען אוועק דעם
אינהאלט און תוכן פון דיינע ארטיקלען

אין יעצט לאמיר אביסעל שרייבן וואס איז טאקע נוגה צום ארטיקעל. יארן צוריק ווען איך האב מיר אוועק געקערט פון מיין שורש וואס איז געווען סאטמאר איז מיר געווען זייער שווער נישט צו האבן א פארווייטיג הארץ אויף פרומע הערליכע אידן דאס מיינט אבער נישט אז איך האלט אז א פיינע הערליכער איד מיינט אז זיי זענען צוריקגעבליבענע מענטשן. סאיז דא א חילוק פון זיין אנגעווייטיקט אויף א אויפברונג וואס איינער וויל נישט מער לעבן. און פון סתם איינער וואס טייטשט איבער זיין פערזענליכער לעבנס געשיכטע אז אלע פרומע אידן זענען צוריקגעבליבענע

Anonymous said...

anon above is so jbf

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Shiksa: LOVE the Yiddish!!!

I'm not judging you at all, further I feel sorry for the hurt and pain one can feel against this community. I too have been mistreated during my teens (nothing earth shattering, but upsetting none-the-less). Those that had the courage to do what they feel is right are very brave. You're human, and you're not rude when you hold a grudge against those that wronged you.

Begreatfull said...

Shpitzel:

Your right its only human to sometimes have a resentment, but I also believe that keeping a resentment for too long only alters a person's growth and ablitliy to move ahead and live a healthy stable life.

It's All Good Now said...

Shpitzle, I was referring to the general concept of "there are two ways of raising yourself - lower others or raise yourself"

Anonymous said...

Hey shpitzel, shaindy here,
i think its ok to seem confused or misunderstood in the begining of revelation. don't be afraid to not believe as u did before. somehow customs became like halacha and ppl get hytsyterical if u don't adhere to them as perfectly. oh my, my mom scolded me on succos, your shaming me and my family and your sister will havto wait to get a decent sidduch!! Hello??
Regarding the fancies, like me, well i'm beyond fancy, i no longer believe in any of what i've been taught. i have a hard time trusting and don't believe ppl who quote from the torah. the fancies are nothing but individuals who are expressing their own style. it gives me a sense of individuality, which i didn't have growing up. i love my newfound passions. so give yourself permission to explore who u really are. you are not just a satmer mother who wears a shpitzel. btw are u in your low twenties. its never too late.
u brought back nice memories from camp. bad too. those stupid restrictions! wear a duster on your nightgown when u get outa bed, man there are no freakin boys arouind! lol. when u dance don't raise your leg to high, oh my god, no wonder i despise that part of crazy fanatasism. the younchy monroes, the better willy's, the ubber boro parkers, man were we ever jealos. lol.
Shaindy

Anonymous said...

right on my dearest shika! very well put. i am still hurting. its been a few yrs now. i have a hard time not judging satmers. all with time. time heals.
Shaindy

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Shaindy,
First, you DO NOT fall into the category of Fancies. The fancies are the white-tights-white-sneakers insiders that think they're better than the rest.
I really understand you, because I've also been on the edge, I just survived. If you had been turned down by those that should love you most you have every right to be angry. Especially if this wound keeps on being rekindled with bi-annual Yom Tov visits to the ever-lecturing parents.

Oh, I do wish you luck. They drop their diamonds while picking up stones.
Unfortunately you're never gonna make them see it your way.

Begreatful: I thank hashem you survived this process without drowning your new life in anger. I hope you are healing.

Begreatfull said...

Anon:

there are days when you feel more resentful then others, and there are days when you say to your self I'm not going to let this resentments rule me, feelings are valid but not always based on reality,you can choose to allowe your self to be controled by your past and drag it along in front of you where ever you go, yes I Have been through many unhappy experinces but look at them as the lessons that shapped me into a better person, more compassion towards others who suffer and I learend to do better then my parents for my own kids beacuse of it.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm... so im not a fancy, lol, lol.

Thank u begreatdul for your input. appreciated as always. lips

i do realize how angry and resentfull i still am. i hate to come across like that. im a cheerful, freindly inquisitive type. i am working on my anger and hurt, but its hard when i keep going back to my parents for love and being rejected over and over again, just cuz of how or what i believe in. accepting that i had no parents just caregivers who took care of me in an abusive manner who happened to be ultra chasidic, will kickstart the process of healing , moving on and not going back there, which is hard.

i do realize not all chasidim have the same experience as me. my husband grew up in a very loving home, and he's very proud of who he is and is able to raise my son in a very loving frum manner, which is ok by me. we all got our own path. hes not me.
Shaindy

nuch a chosid said...

see, i told u you picked up, wow!!!!!

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Thanks! Love all the comments!!