Monday, October 23, 2006

Flirting

Give me a minute while I muster the courage.

Okay. Here goes:

I admit it. I’M A TERRIBLE FLIRT.

I’m taking a deep breath. Saying this wasn’t easy.

As a chassidish girl, flirting is useless and embarrassing. Well, some of you might not think what I do is flirting, or ever realize that I am a flirting, but deep down I’m a terrible flirt.

I don’t get all pink in the cheeks, show cleavage, wink with one eye, take on a cheerleader voice and breath, hike up my skirt, run a finger through my hair. No, that’s the secular version of flirting. All I do is notice that something G&G is a few feet within me, and wonder if he notices me.

It is at its peek when I’m a niddah and I get this keen desire for anything man. Yes, I know, only the man has a right to be ‘undersexed’ and act crazy when he does not have a release, but I too can lose my mind, and I lose my mind from losing my mind.

Here’s what happens. I walk down Lee Avenue. There’s a guy coming in my direction. I move to the side – pushing the carriage almost off the curb. I look far, far away. I am thinking about my grocery list. I am really not noticing the man that just passed me. I don’t turn my head. I don’t look to see if he glances up. Because I know he isn’t.

But as I wait for the ‘WALK’ signal all I can see in my mind is the guy. His shape, his glasses, his glasses, his levish. I wonder if his wife is a stone while they are together. I wonder if he checks out porn every so often, I wonder if he has a whole secret life. I wonder mostly about his mate, and if she has any idea what it means to satisfy a man.
And then I wonder if I could do a better job at that…

When I get home the yungerman’s intimacy troubles  that he might or might not have are not with me. But mine are. Because I can’t stop flirting with chassidish men, my way of flirting.

The goyim in my building are easy. I come into the elevator, they push and wink, and I proudly ignore them. But the super-human super-cute chassidish men, that don’t acknowledge anyone woman, they kill me.

No offense to you Yoelish. You’re the best lover a girl could have. But still, feeling sexy in the presence of men is a torturing desire. I have yet to find another woman that admits to feeling the same.

According to my non-scientific assumption, no relationship can refrain from fizzling somewhat after 1 year. And no one can feel the same about a stranger and a spouse of 10 years. The heat in the relationship falls away and is replaced by deep love. And even more, I have concluded, that although deep love is more important than heat, heat still really calls your name.

Between Yoelish and myself we always feel free to admit attraction to others of opposite gender. It’s unusual for Satmar couples to acknowledge the presence of others in their life, but I really believe that the only other option is denial. Natural feelings don’t go away even if you have a very good marriage.

When my husband says that a guy from work spoke about me in shul, he enjoys seeing me blush. And I feel a rush of excitement. But I know that is stupid because whoever spoke about me doesn’t give a hoot about me.

I wish I could find out what’s behind your face while you ring me up in the store, put down papers on my desk at work, or review information over the phone. I wish I could hear that you find me attractive. But deep down I know it is good that you keep that blank face, because it is what keeps me and Yoelish so tangled up together.

26 comments:

Hoezentragerin said...

I don’t turn my head. I don’t look if he checks me out. Because I know he isn’t

You KNOW he isn't?
No offense Shpizel, but you come across as being just as naive as you are intelligent.
According to my non-scientific assumption, many guys out there are plagued and tortured by a "shpizel fetish." :)

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

hoezentragerin:
The point of my post is not that we don't think of others in the opposite sex, because OBVIOUSLY we do. The idea was to communicate my frusturation in the fact that the attraction isn't communicated, and at the same time my gratitude thereof because it helps us stay in line.

We're humans but we're Satmar.

yoelish said...

As a man i ofcoarse also admitt to attraction to other 'shptizlech' but i don't think i'd callit a fetish just a normal moment of attraction.
but i don't after turn around and check someone out.

shpitzele dear, as i said, until it's a crush it's okay.

be home soon

Anonymous said...

Hey Shpitzel,
so u flirt while wearing a shpitzel. mama mia! lol. not bad. i'd love to see that one day. i walk on lee ave alot. on shabbos when the men go to shul i feel like they are swarming the place and i feel like i shouldn't or have no right to walk there. i dont get up for chasidim on the bus no more. u go to the back if u are so repulsed by me.
i get more turned on by that jeans wearin, perfume smellin, hair gellin, man. When i think bout chasidic sex i see gimme, gimme, gimme, let me finish, then has no clue how to satisfy or compliment a girl.
This very succesful sexy rich man told me once, h'es so attracted to a seams & a shpitzel girl, he always wonders whats underneath that, the innocence. Hey shpitzel: i need company when i visit williamsburg. can we go on flirting trips together? u'll flirt with the guys, i'll flirt with the girls. let me know.lol
Shaindy

Anonymous said...

I am getting a little confused here
who is yoelish your boyfriend or your husband?
and only satmer have taaves you think?
I am so not satmer and I have taaves too.

Hoezentragerin said...

"The idea was to communicate my frusturation in the fact that the attraction isn't communicated"

Time's are changing dear Shpizel. Adjust your glasses.

Anonymous said...

I'm starting to think shpitzel is really just a guy from willy trying to get some attention from the ladies

Anonymous said...

if she would be a guy
she would make a blog about a guy
i hate when ppl are acused of being a different gender.
go get a life.

DUH!! said...

Shpitzel, guy or girl, you write well.

Works both ways, just as most woman go for the innocent , normal type of guy, not the bum or "raaser" with the tinted SUV.

Men would much rather do the innocent neighbor next door rather a porn star.

So, yes shpitzel, I am affraid we might appreciate each other.

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Yoelish’l,
Thank you again for taking the time to go through my important blog, and even make a point :). It means so much to me that you can dedicate 5 seconds of your internet time to something other than hydepark.

Lol!

I’ll send you a link when there are updates… check back!



Shaindy,

I don’t ever flirt on purpose. And I don’t ever flirt TOWARDS others, just within myself. I think my Lee Avenue trips would be very boring to you….

Chassidic sex is subject to the wife’s appreciation of herself. If she think all she is to do is givin’, givin’, givin’, it will be as selfish as you describe. But if she knows she’s a real woman, everything can be just as good as anywhere else.



Anonymous Confused:

Yoelish is my husband, who promised to be an avid chassid of my blog. Accordingly, he should keep on checking back and posting. So I won’t talk about him too much, or of his grammar…

Of coarse everyone has taavas!! If Satmars have, everyone else DEFINITELY has. Nobody probably tries harder not to have taavas than us.



Hozentragerin,

I assume you are right. It’s only logical. But I have no first hand knowledge of any such men or relationships…. I don't consider the web first hand knowledge.



Anonymous The Private Investigator:

Exactly why and how would I fake my gender??? I think a man could get attention from the ladies online too. Read the book Woman are from Venus and Men are from Mars. If you were so smart, my writing should tell you a thing or two about my gender (especially in the Chassidic world where genders are outlined by language!)!



Duh: Duh!! Exactly my point!





Ya'all interesting people out there:

I don't know how long I will be able to keep this blog. It's busy season at work for Yoelish AND he's not home enough So I enjoy communicating online. But as long as it lasts, please suggest what topics you would be interested in reading about.

It's all to be honest, heart to heart talk about chassidic life.

Anonymous said...

ksdl

Anonymous said...

Hey Beby...

Size4mommyBP said...

i relate to this post , except i DO turn my head and they DO lookback

Sara with NO H said...

So I guess I'm glad I'm not the only one throwing up a flag at this blog. In any case, I do enjoy the writing. And it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that you're having fun with this. So cest la vis. Enjoy it.

Y.Y. said...

sicko

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Size4mommy: Well, then you need to cover up the size 4 body more!

Sarah W/ NO H: Is that a 'red flag' or a bookmark?

YY: If you're a woman, go back to the mall. If you're a man, go back to hydepark. Keep your flat head occupied.

It's All Good Now said...

There once was a blog called Human Before Jewish, and this post would fit right in there!!

Y.Y. said...

shpitzele
your husband sits on hyde park 24 7?
what a pitty

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

YY: No. But hydepark is really what cruising online is about for him, mostly. I wish he'd have more interesting interests, but we're Satmar so what you gonna do?
You gotta read all the rebbishe garbage....

Anonymous said...

this blogger is moochy

nuch a chosid said...

The Heimish Yiddish Hydepark is so pathetic, and gets worse, the only hyde park forms that have some sense and worth reading are the israeli ones.

many Chasidim do turn heads and peeeek, after they pass you and look away,

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

'peak'. not oogle.
A very sneaky peak TO THE MOST.

heimishinbrooklyn said...

So which rebbishe garbage does your husband root for?

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

brooklynite: does it matter? it's garbage, period.
Or better yet, a wrong choice for a sport. Energy release should not involve stomping on the torah.
What you gonna do?

heimishinbrooklyn said...

I might be in the same situation is all I'm sayin'

mm said...
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